Birthday Golf... Not a Pretty Sight

My friend, who we will call "JK," was celebrating his 33rd birthday yesterday. Actually, his birthday is on Monday, but I figured what the heck! Early better than late or not at all, right? So as the good friend I am, I was going to take him out to dinner, enjoy a nice meal, and celebrate another year of living. However, he proposes another idea: Golfing. Yep, he wanted me to golf with him for his birthday. Now, here's the kicker: I don't golf.

I don't know how to golf, I don't watch golf, nothing about me, says golf. Even though mini-golf appeals to me, dragging around a bunch of clubs and hitting it on a huge surface of grass is definitely not my idea of a good time. However, he was hinting that I was pussying out, and I wasn't going to take that kind of guff from anyone. I figured that this was one of those tests that you have to go through sometimes in a long friendship - and so help me God, I was going to show that I am open minded and a good friend. Who apparently needs about a 300 handicap.

Anyway, let me start back a few months ago: He had played golf himself when he was younger, but also didn't like it much. However, as we're getting older, the rush and speed of Tennis is wearing down our bodies, and I guess he figured that he needed to invest in a sport that would last him 'til he was gray and old. So golf it was, and... he wanted to drag me along with him. He had become so avid at it that he gave me his set of old golf clubs he had, hoping that I'd play with him. However, until last night, they had been sitting in my garage for the last 5 months, unused, and definitely, unswung.

So last night, with crappy golf clubs shouldered on an equally tattered old club bag, I strolled onto the greens, where he was waiting to tee off on Hole 1. Suffice it to say, I think I would have enjoyed a root canal while having my appendix removed without any anesthetic, more than I was "trying" to enjoy hitting on a 9-hole course in the early evening (you see, if you go close to sundown, they let you hit for free) I swung and missed a lot, much to his chagrin. However, since we really weren't taking score, I was allowed to swing as many times as it took to get the ball into the hole - which amounted to about 9-10 strokes. Yeah, Tiger shouldn't be worried about me.

I think I tore into the grass a few times, and luckily, the only person who saw me was JK, so it was only embarassment of one, and not many. But the funny thing was, the worse time I was having at this, the more JK looked happy. And you know, when it's your birthday, you can be as happy as you want, and if my crappy golf game can bring a smile to his face, then I've done my job.

As we were nearing the 9th, and God-blessed, final hole, I actually started to have a decent swing, and I'll admit, I was starting to have a little if not a nanite-sized smile on my face. Yes, I was, maybe, having a little fun in the process. So much so that I decided that the birthday golfing needed one more event: the driving range.

What better way to say that you're a loyal friend than to embarrass yourself around others in the public range? Since he had dragged me out this far, I was gonna do the Full-Monty of embarassment all the way to the end. We got a bucket of balls, we both took spots, and I, almost took someone's eye out when my ball swung up and over to the right. The woman was not amused. But JK was.

Again, the more I swung, the more I actually made contact with the ball. Some actually flew in a straight line. Most were just dropping 2 feet in front of me. But in the end, at least no one got hurt (yeah, it was close), and I had about 5% left of my dignity left to stride away.

We went out to dinner at this other not-so-fancy place, but I guess he didn't care. I guess playing golf on his birthday mattered more to him than I thought. So, have I turned around on this whole golf thing? Maybe a little... the driving range seems a bit appealing. But one thing I'm sure of - this was definitely a birthday tradition in the making... ;)