Fasten your seat belt...
...Stow your tray during takeoff --
Have a pleasant flight.
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Jury Duty: Flashback 5 - All Is Said, All Is Done (Conclusion)...
***NOTE: Sorry, this is gonna seem a bit rushed, but I'm pressed for time and didn't want to leave everyone hanging while I left on holiday. More on that in a bit... ***
Recap:
-The Daughter testifies, claiming her father threw the glass into the fire; subsequently, the glass ricocheted and hit her mother. Defense portrays the incident as an "accident".
-Closing Arguments are made, the jury is sent to Deliberate
It was like trying to put together a puzzle with various pieces missing at the end.
Fact: Mr. S and Mrs. S had an argument
Fact: A glass was thrown by Mr. S, and his wife got hurt
Only one questioned remained: Did Mr. S do it on purpose?
Deliberations lasted about a total of 3 1/2 hours. The vote swung far and wide, and only finally narrowed in the last half hour.
It's hard enough deciding on only one count of assault, but the 2nd count of "willful intent" was the real hanging chad.
We wished the police took that little extra moment to pick up the glass, and had a better account of the answers given by Mrs. S.
We wished that more forensics was done so that we wouldn't have to be left to our own devices and interpretation.
We wished that testimony from one didn't seem to cancel out the other.
Seldom are wishes granted the way we want.
Alas, absolution never came. The jury was hung.
The final vote was 10-2, in favor of Guilty. But since it was all or nothing, a mistrial was declared.
No one seemed surprised or relieved at the events, and sadly, it seemed like just another day in the Justice system for the civil servants of the courtroom. Papers were shuffled and stamped, The Judge dismissed us, and another case was gearing up.
I'd still like to talk about how we arrived to the decision we made, so I'll save that for when I return... ;)
Recap:
-The Daughter testifies, claiming her father threw the glass into the fire; subsequently, the glass ricocheted and hit her mother. Defense portrays the incident as an "accident".
-Closing Arguments are made, the jury is sent to Deliberate
It was like trying to put together a puzzle with various pieces missing at the end.
Fact: Mr. S and Mrs. S had an argument
Fact: A glass was thrown by Mr. S, and his wife got hurt
Only one questioned remained: Did Mr. S do it on purpose?
Deliberations lasted about a total of 3 1/2 hours. The vote swung far and wide, and only finally narrowed in the last half hour.
It's hard enough deciding on only one count of assault, but the 2nd count of "willful intent" was the real hanging chad.
We wished the police took that little extra moment to pick up the glass, and had a better account of the answers given by Mrs. S.
We wished that more forensics was done so that we wouldn't have to be left to our own devices and interpretation.
We wished that testimony from one didn't seem to cancel out the other.
Seldom are wishes granted the way we want.
Alas, absolution never came. The jury was hung.
The final vote was 10-2, in favor of Guilty. But since it was all or nothing, a mistrial was declared.
No one seemed surprised or relieved at the events, and sadly, it seemed like just another day in the Justice system for the civil servants of the courtroom. Papers were shuffled and stamped, The Judge dismissed us, and another case was gearing up.
I'd still like to talk about how we arrived to the decision we made, so I'll save that for when I return... ;)
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Jury Duty: Flashback 4 - Nothing Left To Do But Go All In...
Recap:
-Defense and Mrs. S don't refute the fact that Mr. S threw a glass at his wife - only Mrs. S now claims that it was an "accident"
-Two officers testify that the couple never mentioned the incident as an "accident" in either of their formal statements
I remember getting to court early the next morning. In fact, a lot of my brethren had. Looks like I wasn't the only juror anxious to pick up where we left off .
We'd see other jurors we recognized from our initial selection pool walking to their courtrooms. I nodded to a few people I remembered, and they'd nod back. It was the way of things.
I'll admit that I was starting to get a little "trial envy" as our case wore on. It seemed like every case on our floor was going into "plea bargaining" mode -- attorneys ushered their clients out, told them they should cop a plea, and most were willing to do it in a heartbeat! Cases were closing left and right, jurors excused for their services and sent off on their way.
Except ours. But I guess that's just the way of things.
The Daughter got up on the witness stand, her body language mimicking that of her mothers'. She didn't seem as nervous, but she wasn't all that relaxed either.
Defense starts questioning. The Daughter says that she was sitting next to her father when he threw the glass into the fire. The Daughter places her father about 5 ft. from the fire with her mother on the other side of the flames. She says she watched the glass fly into the logs, shattering. The next thing she knew, her mother's face was bleeding badly. Defense rests, and all now seems to be pointing towards this being an "accident."
Prosecution cross-examined, though only determined that the only person The Daughter told about the glass flying up from the ground was the Doctor on call. When asked why her statement was never taken that night, she replied that she was just "too hysterical" to talk with anyone, let alone the police. She too did "not want to see her father in trouble."
Prosecution rests.
The Closing Arguments from both attorneys played out like all "Law and Order" episodes do -- Prosecution believes their case to be solid, with evidence and testimony making it clear that Mr. S should be punished for what he did. Defense counters that too many assumptions were made and the police work was less than thorough, so much so that we should find Mr. S innocent from the willful intent to assault his wife.
After the rules and instructions were read, the 12 of us were ushered into a room to decide the man's fate.
It became clear real quick that Deliberations weren't going to be a walk in the park.
We were so far from "open and shut" that we needed to hitchhike just to get back onto the main road, called "verdict"...
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
-Defense and Mrs. S don't refute the fact that Mr. S threw a glass at his wife - only Mrs. S now claims that it was an "accident"
-Two officers testify that the couple never mentioned the incident as an "accident" in either of their formal statements
I remember getting to court early the next morning. In fact, a lot of my brethren had. Looks like I wasn't the only juror anxious to pick up where we left off .
We'd see other jurors we recognized from our initial selection pool walking to their courtrooms. I nodded to a few people I remembered, and they'd nod back. It was the way of things.
I'll admit that I was starting to get a little "trial envy" as our case wore on. It seemed like every case on our floor was going into "plea bargaining" mode -- attorneys ushered their clients out, told them they should cop a plea, and most were willing to do it in a heartbeat! Cases were closing left and right, jurors excused for their services and sent off on their way.
Except ours. But I guess that's just the way of things.
The Daughter got up on the witness stand, her body language mimicking that of her mothers'. She didn't seem as nervous, but she wasn't all that relaxed either.
Defense starts questioning. The Daughter says that she was sitting next to her father when he threw the glass into the fire. The Daughter places her father about 5 ft. from the fire with her mother on the other side of the flames. She says she watched the glass fly into the logs, shattering. The next thing she knew, her mother's face was bleeding badly. Defense rests, and all now seems to be pointing towards this being an "accident."
Prosecution cross-examined, though only determined that the only person The Daughter told about the glass flying up from the ground was the Doctor on call. When asked why her statement was never taken that night, she replied that she was just "too hysterical" to talk with anyone, let alone the police. She too did "not want to see her father in trouble."
Prosecution rests.
The Closing Arguments from both attorneys played out like all "Law and Order" episodes do -- Prosecution believes their case to be solid, with evidence and testimony making it clear that Mr. S should be punished for what he did. Defense counters that too many assumptions were made and the police work was less than thorough, so much so that we should find Mr. S innocent from the willful intent to assault his wife.
After the rules and instructions were read, the 12 of us were ushered into a room to decide the man's fate.
It became clear real quick that Deliberations weren't going to be a walk in the park.
We were so far from "open and shut" that we needed to hitchhike just to get back onto the main road, called "verdict"...
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Jury Duty: Flashback 3 - Who To Believe?...
Recap:
-Trial has begun, attorneys start with Opening Statements
-This turns out to be a case of Spousal Abuse, but belies the complexity that lies within the case
-Mrs. S takes the stand
Mrs. S walks up to the witness stand. Her stride is filled with nervous energy with nowhere to go. She fidgets in her chair before being sworn in.
Prosecution launches into their questions. At the time of the incident, she admitted that she and her husband were both drunk. Her husband did throw a glass at her, most likely sparked by the argument they had. Mrs. S continued to live with her husband 4 months after the incident, and said she "does not want to see him get in trouble."
Defense's turn. They establish that the events that took place prior to the incident were the same, but the way it ultimately played out differed. Defense asks where in relation Mr. S was to Mrs. S at the time of the throw. Mrs. S says she was 10 ft. away from her husband. This time she says that she was NOT hit "directly" by the glass. Mr. S had thrown the glass, but it was directed toward a bonfire that was lit in their backyard. The glass had "ricocheted" from the cement ground, and a piece of it had flown right at her face. She didn't see the glass coming 'cause she was talking to her niece at the time of impact. Defense goes further and asks if this was an "accident."
"Yes," she says.
Defense has no further questions. Prosecution rockets up and out of their chair, not looking pleased at all.
"So, TODAY you're saying that this was an ACCIDENT?," asks the Prosecution.
"Yes," Mrs. S replies again.
Prosecution goes on to call in two officers to testify. The first was one of the arresting officers (A Caucasian fluent in Spanish) from that night. He testified that while taking Ms. S's statement, she had told him that her husband threw a glass at her, but at no time did she mention the word "accident" in her statement. Furthermore, Mr. S had signed a statement - a form that was written in Spanish - attesting to the fact that he did throw a glass at his wife. He did not write down that it was accident on his written statement.
Defense was curious as to why no one thought to look for the glass in question. "Since the story of the event had been fully corroborated by both parties, it was deemed unnecessary," the officer said.
Yeah, we could have really used that glass.
The second officer was a native Spanish-Speaker. He had called up Mrs. S the next day, asking her about the incident over a phone interview. Once again, Mrs. S told the police that her husband threw the glass at her, but did not mention it was an accident. So after 24 hours, she had not changed her statement.
Defense asked if there was a record of the questions and answers that the officer received from Mrs. S, and of course, there was NONE. The only record to prove that the officer called at all is a Log Report that showed he did call Mrs. S and ask the follow-up questions.
Facts and testimony flew fast and furious around the courtroom that afternoon. My pencil was worn down to a nub by the end of the day.
When we finally walked out of the courtroom, Mr. S was sitting between his wife and daughter, holding their hands tightly, his eyes pleading to the jurors.
Too many pieces weren't making sense or adding up - or we just didn't like the way things were adding up towards.
Only one more testimony to go, and we were all curious to hear what their Daughter had to say.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
-Trial has begun, attorneys start with Opening Statements
-This turns out to be a case of Spousal Abuse, but belies the complexity that lies within the case
-Mrs. S takes the stand
Mrs. S walks up to the witness stand. Her stride is filled with nervous energy with nowhere to go. She fidgets in her chair before being sworn in.
Prosecution launches into their questions. At the time of the incident, she admitted that she and her husband were both drunk. Her husband did throw a glass at her, most likely sparked by the argument they had. Mrs. S continued to live with her husband 4 months after the incident, and said she "does not want to see him get in trouble."
Defense's turn. They establish that the events that took place prior to the incident were the same, but the way it ultimately played out differed. Defense asks where in relation Mr. S was to Mrs. S at the time of the throw. Mrs. S says she was 10 ft. away from her husband. This time she says that she was NOT hit "directly" by the glass. Mr. S had thrown the glass, but it was directed toward a bonfire that was lit in their backyard. The glass had "ricocheted" from the cement ground, and a piece of it had flown right at her face. She didn't see the glass coming 'cause she was talking to her niece at the time of impact. Defense goes further and asks if this was an "accident."
"Yes," she says.
Defense has no further questions. Prosecution rockets up and out of their chair, not looking pleased at all.
"So, TODAY you're saying that this was an ACCIDENT?," asks the Prosecution.
"Yes," Mrs. S replies again.
Prosecution goes on to call in two officers to testify. The first was one of the arresting officers (A Caucasian fluent in Spanish) from that night. He testified that while taking Ms. S's statement, she had told him that her husband threw a glass at her, but at no time did she mention the word "accident" in her statement. Furthermore, Mr. S had signed a statement - a form that was written in Spanish - attesting to the fact that he did throw a glass at his wife. He did not write down that it was accident on his written statement.
Defense was curious as to why no one thought to look for the glass in question. "Since the story of the event had been fully corroborated by both parties, it was deemed unnecessary," the officer said.
Yeah, we could have really used that glass.
The second officer was a native Spanish-Speaker. He had called up Mrs. S the next day, asking her about the incident over a phone interview. Once again, Mrs. S told the police that her husband threw the glass at her, but did not mention it was an accident. So after 24 hours, she had not changed her statement.
Defense asked if there was a record of the questions and answers that the officer received from Mrs. S, and of course, there was NONE. The only record to prove that the officer called at all is a Log Report that showed he did call Mrs. S and ask the follow-up questions.
Facts and testimony flew fast and furious around the courtroom that afternoon. My pencil was worn down to a nub by the end of the day.
When we finally walked out of the courtroom, Mr. S was sitting between his wife and daughter, holding their hands tightly, his eyes pleading to the jurors.
Too many pieces weren't making sense or adding up - or we just didn't like the way things were adding up towards.
Only one more testimony to go, and we were all curious to hear what their Daughter had to say.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
Friday, April 13, 2007
Jury Duty: Flashback 2 - Laying Out The Cards...
Quick Recap:
-Prosecution and Defense are happy with their jury until a juror stops the swearing in and is excused due to language difficulties, subsequently followed by another juror pleading the same problem
-Of all the jurors in all the world, I am picked in the strangest case of happenstance I've ever encountered in a courtroom
Returning from our lunch break, I had no time to stay stunned at the turn of events that had placed me in the jury box. The lawyers lay out all the cards:
A man is on trial for committing Spousal Abuse.
Okay, let me stop for a moment -- I bet you're probably having thoughts somewhere along the lines of "wife beater", "assault and battery", and "repeated abuse" -- am I on the right track? At least, this is what I first thought until I heard what happened:
In the early morning hours of New Year's Day 2007, a heated argument occurred between Mr. S and his wife Mrs. S., both of whom were intoxicated at the time. Mrs. S had allegedly "disrespected" Mr. S in front of their friends and family gathered at their backyard. Mr. S lost his temper and out of sheer anger, threw a drinking glass at Mrs. S, causing a 4 inch laceration to the left side of her face, only inches away from her eye.
Prosecution was going for two counts -- I. Assault with a deadly weapon, and II. Assault with willful intent to harm someone, in this case, a Spouse. Guilty on both counts was their main endgame.
Defense was going to prove that "willful intent" was NOT apparent, with help from testimony given by their daughter who was present at the time the event took place. Therefore, a Not Guilty verdict was only one "reasonable doubt" away.
Open and shut case, right? Something in my gut told me that this was definitely going to be a long walk down a road of gray. I began scribbling in my notepad, listening with ears pitched forward to the first witness: Mrs. S.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
-Prosecution and Defense are happy with their jury until a juror stops the swearing in and is excused due to language difficulties, subsequently followed by another juror pleading the same problem
-Of all the jurors in all the world, I am picked in the strangest case of happenstance I've ever encountered in a courtroom
Returning from our lunch break, I had no time to stay stunned at the turn of events that had placed me in the jury box. The lawyers lay out all the cards:
A man is on trial for committing Spousal Abuse.
Okay, let me stop for a moment -- I bet you're probably having thoughts somewhere along the lines of "wife beater", "assault and battery", and "repeated abuse" -- am I on the right track? At least, this is what I first thought until I heard what happened:
In the early morning hours of New Year's Day 2007, a heated argument occurred between Mr. S and his wife Mrs. S., both of whom were intoxicated at the time. Mrs. S had allegedly "disrespected" Mr. S in front of their friends and family gathered at their backyard. Mr. S lost his temper and out of sheer anger, threw a drinking glass at Mrs. S, causing a 4 inch laceration to the left side of her face, only inches away from her eye.
Prosecution was going for two counts -- I. Assault with a deadly weapon, and II. Assault with willful intent to harm someone, in this case, a Spouse. Guilty on both counts was their main endgame.
Defense was going to prove that "willful intent" was NOT apparent, with help from testimony given by their daughter who was present at the time the event took place. Therefore, a Not Guilty verdict was only one "reasonable doubt" away.
Open and shut case, right? Something in my gut told me that this was definitely going to be a long walk down a road of gray. I began scribbling in my notepad, listening with ears pitched forward to the first witness: Mrs. S.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Jury Duty: Flashback 1 - I should have bought a Lotto that week...
In case you missed it, here's a quick recap on what happened at the beginning:
-I passed through 4 rounds of Jury Group Selection, and at the last possible moment, got called up in the 2nd to the last group of the day
-Got into the courtroom, dismissed 3 jurors, but because I was still in the next group, had to come back to court the following day
Day 2. I lay low into my seat, silently hoping that I wouldn't get picked in the next draw. Only 4 spots left -- two for the Final jury, and two alternates.
The Secretary yells out a few numbers - yes, just like inmates, we're now only referred to by our badge numbers (though I'm sure it's mostly for security and anonymity purposes - note the tinge of sarcasm). 6 people get called up, and I am not one of them. A little reprieve, I think it myself as I take in a breath slowly.
One by one, The Prosecutor scrutinizes each candidate - What do you do? Do you have any biases? Any friends in law enforcement? - that sort of thing. I can feel myself zoning out, but I know I should stay focused.
When the Prosecutor finishes, she only dismisses 2 people from that pick, which means the 4 were locked in.
Or so I thought.
What I forgot to take into consideration are the peremptory challenges that Prosecution and Defense gets. These are basically motions to dismiss perspective jurors with little or no reason as to why - they are simply thanked and excused. The Defense had no challenges of the jury, but Prosecution starts weeding out candidates left and right.
The spot for Juror #8 was taken and vacated 4 times in a row. That means my odds of getting picked were increasing by the minute. By the time Prosecution got done, they had widdled our group down to the last 15 perspective jurors. If I am in the 3rd group in selection, and each group starts with 24, that means that the court has already dismissed over 36 jurors, give or take.
I mean, what kind of case WAS this? Were the stakes for the Prosecution THAT HIGH?
Another group is selected and vetted. Defense has no challenges. Prosecution has no challenges. I am one step closer to finishing my service. I hold my breath as the Judge orders the jurors and the alternates to rise.
The Secretary goes, "Please raise your right hand --"
"Your Honor, WAIT!"
A lone voice from the jury box calls out. Everyone freezes.
All eyes fixate on Juror #7, who has his hand raised. He's a middle-aged Asian man, with an accent of broken English that can be heard a mile away. "I'm sorry, but I was called last minute, and... I only understand 70% of what going on," he says softly.
Oh, shit.
A sidebar is called immediately. The Judge, Attorneys and Juror #7 excuse themselves from the court for a few minutes. People look around, bewilderment on their faces, wondering if this is really happening.
I am wondering if this is really happening.
When they return, Juror #7 is immediately excused for having language difficulties. But as he walked out, a little grin belayed on his lips. I think he just got away with swallowing the canary.
As if that wasn't enough, soon after he left, Juror #5 raised her hand - this time a middle-aged Asian lady - pleaded the EXACT SAME THING! Was this a tactic for getting out of jury duty or what? The Judge dismissed her after she claimed to have language difficulties. Juror #5 walked out of the court, but she had a more sullen expression on her face. I think she wanted to do her duty but in all honesty couldn't. Made me feel like she was telling the truth, at least.
So, after 11 rounds of selection, another round began to replace those last two spots, and guess who's number finally came up?
Not only did I become Juror #7, but ANOTHER Asian lady took Juror #5's place as well! It was like some sort of "entropy of Asians" -- we were slotted in to keep the balance of the legal universe intact among this multi-ethnic jury.
Our vetting took no time at all. Seeing that the trial really needed to hit the pavement, everything after that took off like a rocket blasting off into space. Getting sworn in was all a blur, the Juror duties were speed-read to us, and then we broke for a two hour lunch.
And this was only the beginning.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
-I passed through 4 rounds of Jury Group Selection, and at the last possible moment, got called up in the 2nd to the last group of the day
-Got into the courtroom, dismissed 3 jurors, but because I was still in the next group, had to come back to court the following day
Day 2. I lay low into my seat, silently hoping that I wouldn't get picked in the next draw. Only 4 spots left -- two for the Final jury, and two alternates.
The Secretary yells out a few numbers - yes, just like inmates, we're now only referred to by our badge numbers (though I'm sure it's mostly for security and anonymity purposes - note the tinge of sarcasm). 6 people get called up, and I am not one of them. A little reprieve, I think it myself as I take in a breath slowly.
One by one, The Prosecutor scrutinizes each candidate - What do you do? Do you have any biases? Any friends in law enforcement? - that sort of thing. I can feel myself zoning out, but I know I should stay focused.
When the Prosecutor finishes, she only dismisses 2 people from that pick, which means the 4 were locked in.
Or so I thought.
What I forgot to take into consideration are the peremptory challenges that Prosecution and Defense gets. These are basically motions to dismiss perspective jurors with little or no reason as to why - they are simply thanked and excused. The Defense had no challenges of the jury, but Prosecution starts weeding out candidates left and right.
The spot for Juror #8 was taken and vacated 4 times in a row. That means my odds of getting picked were increasing by the minute. By the time Prosecution got done, they had widdled our group down to the last 15 perspective jurors. If I am in the 3rd group in selection, and each group starts with 24, that means that the court has already dismissed over 36 jurors, give or take.
I mean, what kind of case WAS this? Were the stakes for the Prosecution THAT HIGH?
Another group is selected and vetted. Defense has no challenges. Prosecution has no challenges. I am one step closer to finishing my service. I hold my breath as the Judge orders the jurors and the alternates to rise.
The Secretary goes, "Please raise your right hand --"
"Your Honor, WAIT!"
A lone voice from the jury box calls out. Everyone freezes.
All eyes fixate on Juror #7, who has his hand raised. He's a middle-aged Asian man, with an accent of broken English that can be heard a mile away. "I'm sorry, but I was called last minute, and... I only understand 70% of what going on," he says softly.
Oh, shit.
A sidebar is called immediately. The Judge, Attorneys and Juror #7 excuse themselves from the court for a few minutes. People look around, bewilderment on their faces, wondering if this is really happening.
I am wondering if this is really happening.
When they return, Juror #7 is immediately excused for having language difficulties. But as he walked out, a little grin belayed on his lips. I think he just got away with swallowing the canary.
As if that wasn't enough, soon after he left, Juror #5 raised her hand - this time a middle-aged Asian lady - pleaded the EXACT SAME THING! Was this a tactic for getting out of jury duty or what? The Judge dismissed her after she claimed to have language difficulties. Juror #5 walked out of the court, but she had a more sullen expression on her face. I think she wanted to do her duty but in all honesty couldn't. Made me feel like she was telling the truth, at least.
So, after 11 rounds of selection, another round began to replace those last two spots, and guess who's number finally came up?
Not only did I become Juror #7, but ANOTHER Asian lady took Juror #5's place as well! It was like some sort of "entropy of Asians" -- we were slotted in to keep the balance of the legal universe intact among this multi-ethnic jury.
Our vetting took no time at all. Seeing that the trial really needed to hit the pavement, everything after that took off like a rocket blasting off into space. Getting sworn in was all a blur, the Juror duties were speed-read to us, and then we broke for a two hour lunch.
And this was only the beginning.
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
Monday, April 09, 2007
Easter Sunday: Birthday Song and Expletives...
**Before I get into the Jury blogs, just wanted to share this little story that I saw unfold for Easter.**
I was out having dinner at this restaurant for Easter Sunday, when across from me sat a table with a family of 6 - Mother, Father, and their 4 kids - two young daughters, two young sons (range about 4-7 years old). One of the little boys tells their nice waitress that "it's my brother's birthday."
I can feel the waitress' eyes secretly roll as she knows what she now has to do. Like a seasoned platoon leader, she stealthily gives hand signals to the other waitstaff, letting them no to get their best "fake on" for the birthday song they need to sing for the BILLIONTH time this shift.
Of course, in typical cluster-fucked fashion, the first time the waitress gathers the crew and the free dessert (Mud Pie for this occasion), the birthday boy is nowhere to be found. The waitress has the "I swear he was here a minute ago" look on her tired face. The mother plays the apologetic card. "I'm sorry, he ran off with his brother a minute ago. They'll be right back, " she says. The waitstaff scatter back to their respective tables, and the waitress tosses the dessert somewhere.
The birthday boy and his little brother appear a few minutes later. Unfortunately, the waitress can't seem to remember where she put the dessert, and the rest of the crew are still waiting their tables. By the time she finds the Mud Pie and gets everyone from their sections, the kid is gone again. The mother goes ,"I'm so sorry, his father took him to the bathroom. He'll be right back." This is when I overhear a waiter mutter, "Christ, where the FUCK is this kid"!! Though a collective groan didn't occur, you could still feel it wafting in the air.
This is clearly getting out of hand. I watch the waitstaff eyeing the family, waiting for the little boy's return so they can get this show on the freakin' road.
When the kid FINALLY sits down, the waitstaff ambush him like a pack of hungry Hyenas. Waiters are actually taking off in mid-order from their tables to sing to the little boy. The waitress makes direct eye contact with the mother, as if to say "For the love of God lady, could you have made this ANY harder"?
The waitstaff sing with the the biggest shit eating grins I've ever seen! Not only that, but they are singing the Birthday song at 5x times the usual speed so it sounds like Alvin and Chipmunks -- kinda like ripping-a-band-aid-off-real-quick kind of mentality. I don't think the parents could tell -- they were too mesmerized by their kids clapping along with the waitstaff, and happy kids are a good distraction. As the song ends, the family digs into their now half-melted Mud Pie. The crew scatters back to their respective sections. Anger at having to go through with this ritual has subsided, even by the waiter who swore under his breath.
You'd think all this song and dance would be worth the effort, but funny thing was, the birthday boy himself didn't really seem to care! Looked like his family was getting most of the joy out of it completely. I think he was just happy to be having chocolate cake and ice cream.
It appeared that this wasn't going to be the only birthday party that night. I could see the crew saving their strength and keeping their palms relaxed -- no telling when the next clapping-birthday-sing-a-long was gonna pop up next... ;)
I was out having dinner at this restaurant for Easter Sunday, when across from me sat a table with a family of 6 - Mother, Father, and their 4 kids - two young daughters, two young sons (range about 4-7 years old). One of the little boys tells their nice waitress that "it's my brother's birthday."
I can feel the waitress' eyes secretly roll as she knows what she now has to do. Like a seasoned platoon leader, she stealthily gives hand signals to the other waitstaff, letting them no to get their best "fake on" for the birthday song they need to sing for the BILLIONTH time this shift.
Of course, in typical cluster-fucked fashion, the first time the waitress gathers the crew and the free dessert (Mud Pie for this occasion), the birthday boy is nowhere to be found. The waitress has the "I swear he was here a minute ago" look on her tired face. The mother plays the apologetic card. "I'm sorry, he ran off with his brother a minute ago. They'll be right back, " she says. The waitstaff scatter back to their respective tables, and the waitress tosses the dessert somewhere.
The birthday boy and his little brother appear a few minutes later. Unfortunately, the waitress can't seem to remember where she put the dessert, and the rest of the crew are still waiting their tables. By the time she finds the Mud Pie and gets everyone from their sections, the kid is gone again. The mother goes ,"I'm so sorry, his father took him to the bathroom. He'll be right back." This is when I overhear a waiter mutter, "Christ, where the FUCK is this kid"!! Though a collective groan didn't occur, you could still feel it wafting in the air.
This is clearly getting out of hand. I watch the waitstaff eyeing the family, waiting for the little boy's return so they can get this show on the freakin' road.
When the kid FINALLY sits down, the waitstaff ambush him like a pack of hungry Hyenas. Waiters are actually taking off in mid-order from their tables to sing to the little boy. The waitress makes direct eye contact with the mother, as if to say "For the love of God lady, could you have made this ANY harder"?
The waitstaff sing with the the biggest shit eating grins I've ever seen! Not only that, but they are singing the Birthday song at 5x times the usual speed so it sounds like Alvin and Chipmunks -- kinda like ripping-a-band-aid-off-real-quick kind of mentality. I don't think the parents could tell -- they were too mesmerized by their kids clapping along with the waitstaff, and happy kids are a good distraction. As the song ends, the family digs into their now half-melted Mud Pie. The crew scatters back to their respective sections. Anger at having to go through with this ritual has subsided, even by the waiter who swore under his breath.
You'd think all this song and dance would be worth the effort, but funny thing was, the birthday boy himself didn't really seem to care! Looked like his family was getting most of the joy out of it completely. I think he was just happy to be having chocolate cake and ice cream.
It appeared that this wasn't going to be the only birthday party that night. I could see the crew saving their strength and keeping their palms relaxed -- no telling when the next clapping-birthday-sing-a-long was gonna pop up next... ;)
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Jury Duty: Day 4 - Closure Is At Hand, Right?...
It's finally over.
All is said, all is done.
I tossed my badge ID into a pile started by my fellow jurors, then grabbed my Certification of Service from the female clerk. She did not smile nor nod. I was just part of her daily routine.
That certificate wasn't just a piece of paper. I was holding 4 days of my life in my hands, ever so gently. 4 days that will linger in my mind for awhile.
I'm glad to have done my duty, but still sad at the outcome. Some of the rookie jurors wondered what was gonna happen next to the defendants.
Me? I try not to think about it. 'Cause that ain't my job anymore...
**I'm pretty beat. I'm gonna adjourn for now, but I'll be back with the story and let you decide whether or not fate played a part in all this... ;)
All is said, all is done.
I tossed my badge ID into a pile started by my fellow jurors, then grabbed my Certification of Service from the female clerk. She did not smile nor nod. I was just part of her daily routine.
That certificate wasn't just a piece of paper. I was holding 4 days of my life in my hands, ever so gently. 4 days that will linger in my mind for awhile.
I'm glad to have done my duty, but still sad at the outcome. Some of the rookie jurors wondered what was gonna happen next to the defendants.
Me? I try not to think about it. 'Cause that ain't my job anymore...
**I'm pretty beat. I'm gonna adjourn for now, but I'll be back with the story and let you decide whether or not fate played a part in all this... ;)
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
Jury Duty: Day 3 - A Walk Through Shades of Grey...
I wish I could say that this was easy, but it's not.
I wish that forethought was stronger than hindsight, but it's not.
I wish the grey was a little less grey, but it's not.
I want to do a good job, but at what cost?
Gee, can I BE any more vague?
Okay, here's something I can talk about -- getting my ticket validated each day has become quite a mission unto itself. It's all about timing: If you get to court too early, the hand stamp is not let out. If you get there too late, the stamp is locked in the office. Today, the clerk was keeping it in her clutches with a Kung-Fu grip, for reasons I can't explain other than the stamp has started to become a symbol of control, and we are the underlings under her furtive rule.
In the end, we wrestled the Parking stamp from her clutches, and the mob and I stamped our tickets with glee. The new jurors looked at us in horror, for our sheer audacity to commit such an act, but hey, we're jurors on a case. We don't have time to fool around. Not today.
When will I be able to talk about all this? What will we have for lunch tomorrow? And how will we get the parking stamp out of the clutches of the Dragon Lady tomorrow?
To Be Continued... ;)
I wish that forethought was stronger than hindsight, but it's not.
I wish the grey was a little less grey, but it's not.
I want to do a good job, but at what cost?
Gee, can I BE any more vague?
Okay, here's something I can talk about -- getting my ticket validated each day has become quite a mission unto itself. It's all about timing: If you get to court too early, the hand stamp is not let out. If you get there too late, the stamp is locked in the office. Today, the clerk was keeping it in her clutches with a Kung-Fu grip, for reasons I can't explain other than the stamp has started to become a symbol of control, and we are the underlings under her furtive rule.
In the end, we wrestled the Parking stamp from her clutches, and the mob and I stamped our tickets with glee. The new jurors looked at us in horror, for our sheer audacity to commit such an act, but hey, we're jurors on a case. We don't have time to fool around. Not today.
When will I be able to talk about all this? What will we have for lunch tomorrow? And how will we get the parking stamp out of the clutches of the Dragon Lady tomorrow?
To Be Continued... ;)
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Jury Duty: Day 2 - Expecting The Unexpected, Unexpectedly...
**Hey kiddies! Another shorty entry, 'cause that's just the way things are. But don't worry, details will be revealed... **
Well, I must be lucky.
Or cursed.
I'm on a case, but I can't talk about it yet.
The story of how I got to where I'm at is so unbelievable It feels straight out of a John Grisham
novel.
So, what happened you ask? And who is this juror I keep running into? And will I get my parking structure ticket validated in time tomorrow?
To be continued... ;)
Well, I must be lucky.
Or cursed.
I'm on a case, but I can't talk about it yet.
The story of how I got to where I'm at is so unbelievable It feels straight out of a John Grisham
novel.
So, what happened you ask? And who is this juror I keep running into? And will I get my parking structure ticket validated in time tomorrow?
To be continued... ;)
Monday, April 02, 2007
Jury Duty: Day 1 - How To Widdle Time...
**Forgive me, I'm tired from sitting and waiting all day, so this will only be about 70% entertaining**
You can do a whole lot of nothing in 8 hours.
You can talk to your fellow jurors. Or endure a Chatty-Cathy or Talky-Tom who just won't shut up cause they have so much nervous energy they need to pass that along to everyone within earshot.
One woman even brought in her knitting bag -- she was almost done with a beautiful yellow scarf before the end of the day.
Some people, like me, took tiny naps, like we were stuck at an airport transit lounge waiting for our flight to be called. Not knowing when you're picked can make you a little jumpy as the day wears on.
Reading was a popular activity - I swear, one guy started and finished two novelas. I barely got through two magazines - G.I. JOB, and Downtown. Both had some suprisingly good articles.
The internet was available for a fee, but since most people didn't know when they'd get called up, most passed on that little novelty.
TV was a neat little diversion. It's been awhile since I've watched the Price is Right, One Life to Live and Oprah all in the same day. And for some reason I never noticed that Harpo, Oprah's production company, is her name backwards. What a crazy world.
Yours truly was in the final stretch of the last hour - when I got called into the 2nd to the last selection group of the day.
Let's just say that I'm not even at the point where they're asking me background questions yet. I'm a considered candidate juror for jury selection in the 4th round of jury trial selection.
I have to go back tomorrow. Will I be selected on the case tomorrow? Will my 4th jury experience come to a crashing halt? And will I be able to find the stamper to validate my parking in time?
To Be Continued... ;)
You can do a whole lot of nothing in 8 hours.
You can talk to your fellow jurors. Or endure a Chatty-Cathy or Talky-Tom who just won't shut up cause they have so much nervous energy they need to pass that along to everyone within earshot.
One woman even brought in her knitting bag -- she was almost done with a beautiful yellow scarf before the end of the day.
Some people, like me, took tiny naps, like we were stuck at an airport transit lounge waiting for our flight to be called. Not knowing when you're picked can make you a little jumpy as the day wears on.
Reading was a popular activity - I swear, one guy started and finished two novelas. I barely got through two magazines - G.I. JOB, and Downtown. Both had some suprisingly good articles.
The internet was available for a fee, but since most people didn't know when they'd get called up, most passed on that little novelty.
TV was a neat little diversion. It's been awhile since I've watched the Price is Right, One Life to Live and Oprah all in the same day. And for some reason I never noticed that Harpo, Oprah's production company, is her name backwards. What a crazy world.
Yours truly was in the final stretch of the last hour - when I got called into the 2nd to the last selection group of the day.
Let's just say that I'm not even at the point where they're asking me background questions yet. I'm a considered candidate juror for jury selection in the 4th round of jury trial selection.
I have to go back tomorrow. Will I be selected on the case tomorrow? Will my 4th jury experience come to a crashing halt? And will I be able to find the stamper to validate my parking in time?
To Be Continued... ;)
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