On Any Other Day...

On this Hallow's Eve,

monsters, misfits and the like
appear...
... quite normal.

**Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween, and if you partake in the bounty that is candy, please remember to floss and brush!***

Not For Carnivores... (senryu)

Succulent egg plant,
slow roasted in olive oil -
sweet flesh, surrendered...

Frosty...

He was made from ice
with tender love and crazy
care, a man not meant to
last for long, and though
his time on Earth is short,
his importance bears
a familiar song --

He'll witness snowball fights,
toboggan rides, and snow angels
being made on the ground,
and never once utter
a single sound --

But we will hear him,
in our thoughts,
cheering us on long after
the winter melts, and later
we may wonder, if Frosty
had as good a time as
we did with him there...

Not For Vegans...(senryu)

A nice juicy steak,
pan-seared, pink in the middle -
soul, consuming soul...

Hey You, In My Rearview...(senryu)

Late night tailgater,
drive around! No need for high-
beams to blind my eyes!

Random Aintu #1

a car
broke down and parked
in my driveway. They asked
for help - I, too stunned to answer.
But soon fixed without me,
and off they went,
cruising...

Edgewise (senryu)

"Why are you so mad?"

"You are constantly interr --

"That is SO not true!".

Up In The Sky...

The adult in me saw
a sky dotted by cirrus
and low cumulus clouds that
hung not far from stratosphere,

But it was the kid in me
that saw reality: a giant,
happy face smiling down
from above, gleefully...

Conversations in Air Freight: I'm sorry, you're calling about what?

Believe it or not, this is a real phone conversation I had. Only some of the names and parties have been changed to protect their stupidity.

RING!!!!!

Hello?

Good morning, this is "Allison" over at "X Cargo", how are you?

I'm fine.

I'm calling in regards to a package you've sent to "La-Toona". It seems that --

Excuse me, what did you say?

The shipment to "La-Toona"? Yes, there is a temporary embargo, so the shipment cannot be
Collect --

I'm sorry, I don't think I've ever sent anything to a country with that name.

Sir, all we need you to do is change the paperwork to reflect Pre-Paid instead of Collect so we can finish processing the delivery of the package.

Could you tell me the name of the country again? Or at least give me the tracking number?

The number is XXXXXXXXXX, with a country code VNO, in La-Toona.

(set the phone done for a moment, realizing what the heck she's talking about)

Do you mean LITHUANIA!

Uh, yes... so if you can fax over the revised paperwork, that'd be great.

Sure.

CLICK.

Random Haiku # 64

Shivers in the cold,
time for machismo has passed --
pass me my sweater...

Random Haiku #63

"Careful! Plate is hot!"
Heed the warning I did not.
Finger-tips singed - ouch!...

Venery...

Sly fox stands on grass,
survey prey to tempt "fowl" play --
will strike, when ready...

Oh, Canada! - The Vacation 2006 **Bonus Pics**

Here's some pics that didn't really fit anywhere, but I thought I'd share them anyway!

I don't wanna go!!!!... ;)

Oh, Canada! - The Vacation 2006, Part 4: So Long, For Now...

Orig. August 8, 2006 - The Return Home...

5:30 AM - Wake up, wondering where I am, and then I remember I'm still not in Kansas. God, I need to pack.

6:45 AM - Check out of hotel. Finished packing my stuff and it feels lighter - how does that happen?

6:47 AM - One the road to the airport. It's still sunrise, the scorching ball of light only burning small holes in our retinas - but we'll live.

7:04 AM - Got lost again and missed the interchange. Exited at this giant mall, where I barely saw the sign to point us back to the right freeway. Sun still shining in our faces, increasing the level of difficulty. Dad says "Don't panic." I keep mine from showing.

7:41 AM - Dropped off the rental car, now using "Canadian R2-D2" to do check-in. Lines are long and insane this morning.

7:53 AM - Start lining up for customs. It too is long. Still haven't checked in bags yet, which sucks. A lady from the airline starts yelling at us like we're cattle, which, we are sort of herding like.

8:34 AM - Clear customs - Customs Agent was friendly and glad to see my father and I. Oh joy! Also pass through security screening without hassle. The Screening inspector thought my PSP was "bitch'n". ***SIDE NOTE FOR JJ4: I cleared customs through window "4"***

8:46 AM - Find breakfast joint to enjoy "American breakfast". The irony isn't lost on my father either.

9:19 AM - Waiting at the gate. There's an older brother tossing his little brother up and down in the air. HIs mother tells them to stop, but the brothers continue. Mother takes out camcorder and films them. What you gonna do, huh?

9:22 AM - An old lady in a wheelchair is being wheeled to her plane. She is crying and looks disoriented - aren't we all?

9:40 AM - Boarded the plane, sitting in the aisle again. But I sacrifice elbow hits for less claustrophobia.

9:41 AM - My seatmates arrive. It's a complete sausage fest - the Window Guy is an I.T. Tech, and the Middle Guy is a real estate agent. They bond like white on rice.

9:43 AM - Asian underage hotties sit across from me. They exude the energy of a Jessica Simpson/Lindsay Lohan music video. I can feel my I.Q. dropping. Requisite cockblocking/boyfriend accompanies said party - he seems "N-Synch"-ish as well, but not so much Lance Bass.

9:49 AM - Sitting by the galley, the smell of hot maple syrup is drowning my senses. I breathe syrup now. I'm now surrounded by families with babies and toddlers, evoking total deja-vu'...

9:54 AM - Still haven't left the gate. Seatmates are gonna start making out soon. The Asian hotties are excited about watching the in-flight movie "Over the Hedge". Their "bubblyness" is irritating. My air knob is a little screwy, so cold air blows on me whether I like it or not.

9:59 AM - I make "baby faces" with a baby across from me. She is really cute. I hope she doesn't cry.

10:07 AM - As usual, no one is paying attention to the safety video. I at least read the safety card, but hey, whatever... the baby's making faces again. She calms me.

10:10 AM - Captain tells us that our bags were delivered to the plane late, which has caused our late take-off. As if there was someone we can yell at now.

10:11 AM - Flight attendant mistakes my earbuds for iPod, yet I'm not plugged into anything. I take off my buds reluctantly so I "don't make a scene" - I think I've had enough rebel rousing in Canada.

10:50 AM - Fell asleep before take-off. Baby didn't cry a bit. That's good. I'm sure take-off was lovely...

10:55 AM - I keep drifting in and out of wakefullness, asses and elbows pressed near my face, some good, most not. I'm starting to rethink my sitting in the aisle philosophy.

11:51 AM - I'm so bored that I'm watching a "Winnie the Pooh" movie playing on a personal DVD player two rows in front of me. The kid watching is glued. So am I.

11:57 AM - Kid changed the DVD to "Sesame Street" just as I was getting into the Pooh. Oh, Pooh!

12:00 PM - Inflight movie starts - "The Sentinel", not "Over the Hedge" - Asian girls are disappointed. My Window Guy refuses to pull down his shade. A fellow rebel...

BACK IN LA...

3:05/12:05 PM - Wake up, flight attendant screamed again about our descent (yeah, I think "The Sentinel" helped me to pass out). I wish they would stop doing that. Of course, I was in the middle of dreaming about Eva Longoria, but alas, that is another story.

12:32 PM - Arrive in LA. Landing, again, was as smooth as sandpaper. Yeah, like I could do better...

1:08 PM - Out of the terminal! Got our luggage after finding out it went to the wrong claim carousel! Stepping out into the airport, the air is dirty and dry, the noise is loud and obnoxious.

It's good to be home.

Oh, Canada! - The Vacation 2006, Part 3A: So, CN Tower, Anyone?

So, who still wants to see some more of Toronto, huh? I know, I know, it's been awhile (again).

When we last left off, I was returning back to the city after a crazy morning visiting Niagara Falls:

Ah, the CN Tower - but first, a few more stops before we make our way there...

Here's the Old City Hall. The giant clocktower reminds me of Big Ben.

This is the new City Hall. Man, it was a bitch to get all those people to
look like they were doing something!

This is the Historic Campbell House - The Last Brick Home
From The Town Of York. At least, that's what the sign at the
front read. Oh yeah, it's open Tuesday thru Friday, 9:30-4:30.

The Speakers Corner - on the left side of the picture, is this really cool booth
where you can leave a video message and stuff for all the people of Canada to
see(if they choose your message). Barenaked Ladies was discovered from this
thing, so it's got some pretty cool roots. But mostly women flash
their boobs in there for a chance at 15 seconds of fame.

Yeah, just a pic of me chill'n. That's about it.

Ah, the Friar & Firkin, my favorite watering hole in all of Toronto.
I spent many a Canadian dollar in there. It's definitely a don't-miss
for anyone visiting from out of town. The place is decked out in red velvet,
old wood, and, well, alcohol - hello!!! What more can you ask for!
Let's go inside...

...This is a Creemore. There are many like it, but this one was mine.

Yes, it was a special day, so I chased my lager with an old stand-by!

A tough part about being Asian is that everyone can tell when you're getting
a buzz. Yeah, I've only had two drinks and I look like I'm ready for my
close-up on COPS.

After pulling myself away - kick and screaming, mind you - from the F&F, we took off to see...

Tadaaaaaaa!!! The Canadian Space Needle!

I rode up on the lift with a bunch of nice old ladies. I tried to get a shot so I could
show you all the view from the elevator, but alas, we were packed in like
sardines. I'm not sure, but I think one of the old ladies grabbed my ass. Is it possible
to be spooked, flabbergasted and flattered all at the same time?

This is one of the see-through floors on the Observation deck. There's a video down
in the lobby showing these kids jumping up and down on it, to illustrate that it's
perfectly safe. I walked on it, but I didn't stomp. However, two minutes after
I walk away a 300 plus man had no qualms about it and decided to see if he could
crack it. Luckily, he didn't, but I think I heard a "creak".

Pretty self explanatory.

The view from the top was great. This was from the Restaurant deck.
And apparently, one of the few shots I could take without getting a
WHOLE REFLECTION of me in it!

I don't know if they put the decal there on purpose, but I thought it was
kinda neat.

Just so you know I was there!

Thanks for coming along, and stay tuned for the exciting conclusion --
of how I got outta Dodge!

Super Winks!... ;)

Random Haiku # 62

Drank some decaf tea -
like a sword that lost its edge,
I too, now feel dulled...

Piece for PictureSpeak XIII: When Leaves, Leave

Oh, why oh why do you
bother to leave, you leaves,
only to return a few months
later for another quick fling
with me?

Do we not have splendid
days in the park, naps beneath
your shady arms, then reading
Austen 'til to dusk --
just stay, what do you say?

Alas, your shade changes,
you pack your bags and go
without saying goodbye, as if
our time together never
really happend...

...But I know we did, and though
you've left, you never intend to
leave for long

In a few months, when you
knock on my door,
I'll foolishly embrace our love affair
once more - me, the fool that can't
leave you.

Beacon...

Out at
sea, a white squall
reigns chaos, threatening
to tear me apart... I hear you,
ever so faint, my safe
harbour, calling
me home...

And She Doesn't Look A Day Over 30...

Happy Birthday Mom!

Hope you liked the carrot cake --

I bought it myself!...

**Uh-huh, call me a Momma's Boy. You know you want to... ;)**

Uni-versal...

College
days are long gone -
I miss sleeping 'til noon,
shooting pool... and going to class?
It all went by so fast!
Quite the mindscape,
college...

Tanti Auguri A Te!

It's not uncommon to hear "Happy Birthday" sung at a restaurant - most people like to spend their special day with friends and family at some dining establishment, getting the free desert, and enjoy being serenaded by a bunch of waitstaff that would no sooner tear out their own vocal chords than to have to sing that song for the millionth time.

However, what I witnessed goes beyond what I've ever seen before, and just like Halley's Comet, I'm sure I won't be seeing again any time soon.

On Saturday night, I was out at this Italian place, when this waiter walks over to a nearby table, claps to get everyone's attention, and belts out the "Happy Birthday" song - in Italian. Yep, it was gonna be one of those "subtitle moments" in life.

Tanti auguri a te, otherwise translated as "Many wishes to you", is a staple among Italian eateries. At this place it was sung by one of the waitstaff, usually male, and depending on their vocal training could either sound like Andre Bocelli or Andre the Giant.

This guy, I will admit, was not half bad. He didn't get too off key, everyone laughed and clapped, and I thought he was done. As I'm digging into my wheat penne, I'm startled by a loud sounding TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

He's at it again, this time 4 tables down. Sweat is on his brow. His voice quivers but he belts the tune out again. Everyone stops in their tracks, as they too realize that they are witnessing an act rarely seen at a restaurant - a rapid succession of the Happy Birthday song. In Italian!

For the next hour and a half (or at least how long I was there), this waiter - God bless his soul - sings the B-Day song 6 times. It is around the 4th time when I start questioning the philosophy of having too much of a good thing.

On the 5th time, you could kind of hear his voice crack at the high notes, which only made him sing louder. But wouldn't you know it, he still finishes the song as the round of applause brings him on home. My food is getting cold, but I'm so wrapped up in this guy's plight that I could care less if my Eggplant Parmesan was getting soggy.

I'm truly impressed by the amount of abuse this guy was taking. I'm not sure what was going through his mind - perhaps the large tips he might get for doing all these solo acts, or maybe he truly did like his job so much that he didn't mind doing his Pavarotti impersonation in front of 100 total strangers.

By the 6th and final one I witnessed, I could definitely see that he was tiring of all this a-cappela serenading. He had grabbed a water a few moments before, downed it, went to serve another table (yeah, he was still managing all his tables on the floor), and jumped up on a chair.

He really didn't look like he could do it, but he had a flash of brilliance that I won't forget. The table he was singing for was this party of 15. I guess he figured that since we had all heard the song a few times that we'd have no problem singing along with him.

So he claps and shouts, "Everyone! I'm gonna need your help. Okay?" He starts with TAAAAAAAAA...

Amazingly, everyone in the restaurant, myself included, fake our way through the Italian B-Day song. We stayed in unision, note after sour note. It was a thing of really "Beauty meeting the Beast" kind of experience, a total car wreck that is grotesque, yet you couldn't dare to look away.

No one cared. The large party was busy slapping themselves on the back and applauding the waiter. He stood for a few seconds on that chair before descending back down to the masses.

On the drive home, I couldn't help wondering if there's someone that does something like that for him on his birthday.

If there were, I bet he'd asked them to sing it in English... ;)