Monday, July 31, 2006

Le Femmes, Fatally... (For Lori Ann)

Ladies - don't deny the power
you have over us, for you may
be the weaker sex per se,
we men are weak,
for sex from you

From midnight getaways on
cast-off beaches, to midnight
runs for Advil and tampons,
we are but at your beck and call,
your boy-toys in waiting

No task too demeaning -
really, we love spending time
with your mother, and lugging
your shopping bags at the mall
is but exercise we need anyway

But be warned: wield your powers wisely,
for though you have us wrapped
around your beautiful fingers,
we will defy you if we are
never granted, from time to time...

...silence.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

"All the Best" - a wedding day haiku

Wedded day of bliss,
much ado about "I do,"
this, I would not miss!

At Peace...

The blue of twilight hits
not more so the valley of the
aged rocks, but deep within
the caverns of my own spirit,
wanting to be as vast, as
far as the eye can see -
a peacful place with which
I may find my own,
serenity....

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Fade on Cue...

Isn't it the most beautiful thing,
when your favorite song
on the radio ends,
just as you park your car
and turn off the
ignition?

Sound-tracks off our lives...

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Random Haiku #54

Craving mushroom soup,
creamy velvet, warms my core -
but not served today!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Intersecting...

I turned and saw her,

she smiled and winked, I winked back,
then... the light changed - ZOOM!!!!

What's the deal with Magazine covers?...

Has anyone else noticed that the front page of a magazine, if it contains an ad or something, is now opening OUT and not IN, like it used to?

I was flipping through a TIME magazine, and I almost gave myself a wicked paper cut when I accidentally dropped the issue on my lap. The front page fanned out, and I was like, "What the f--k!"

I liked the old dust-jacket style cause, well, it didn't give me papercuts. This design does have an adhesive edge, but I think that's what's gonna make it more dangerous.

Seriously, I can't be the only one that's noticed this. This sort of madness has to stop. Some technologies should never change...

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Overheated...

A scorched brain

brings no harvest
fresh of thought...

Monday, July 24, 2006

Random Haiku #53

Student drivers suck!
Can't signal to save their lives -
but I was them once...

Random Haiku #53

Student drivers suck!
Can't signal to save their lives -
but I was them once...

Sunday, July 23, 2006

My day would have made a great M. Night Shyamalan film...

So, typical lazy Sunday, I decide to take a break from all my relaxing and head out to the local Googleplex. "Lady in the Water" opened this weekend, and I figured that since everyone was proabably going to see Johnny Depp in all his "Sparrow glory", I'd have no problems getting tickets and finding a decent seat 10 minutes before showtime.

After fighting the heat (which I think literally melted someone on the street this afternoon), slow moving vehicles and even slower moving people, it was nice having something go my way for a change. Of course, this wasn't going to last.

In typical ghetto-matinee fashion, people left their cellphones on SUPER LOUD or whatever new Ludicrus ringtone is out nowadays, and there was a ring about every 20 minutes. This hightened the suspense of the film, but definitely not in the intended manner. After the first hour, I think we all got used to it, which is sad when you think about it.

Then, there happened to be this little kid who got lost or something - the boy ran into this lady as she was coming into the theater, and so the lady goes, "DOES THIS CHILD BELONG TO ANYONE HERE? ANYONE?" Well gee, either the boy's parents aren't in this particular theater, or the parents are riddled with so much embarrasment that they've ducked under their seats to avoid accepting the "Horrible Parent of the Year" award. I mean, what the heck, right? Of course, I'm all for keeping kids safe, and, well, not lost, but the lady shouted all this during a pretty important plot point in the film - another reason why there's swiss cheese holes in my overall interpretation of M. Night's work.

Now nearing the 3rd act of the film, some old guy comes in, and takes a seat next to me. Okay, this wouldn't be so weird if the theater was packed, but there were literally 60 seats anywhere, and there was a row in front that had like 4 people in it. I couldn't tell you why he would choose to sit next to me, but God, did this old guy smell. It was like sitting next to a huge bottle of Old Spice, Right Guard and Aqua Velva that had been out in the sun too long. His rancidity was starting to hury my nose, but luckily the theater was pumping out 3,000 BTUs of AC so his waft spread out, and again, I got used to it. So not only was the film creeping me out - so was this guy. Again, another distraction at a crucial point in the film, which will probably force me to catch this film again when it hits cable.

So, even with all this going on, I still had a decent time. The film wasn't that bad, and I was sure that the weirdness was now behind me.

Think again.

As I'm driving out of the mall (where the theater is at), I get behind a minivan that's in front of me. I notice that the back trunk looked a little ajar. Who hasn't had that happen, right? I mean, we all sometimes miss closing it tightly, so I didn't think much of it - until 10 seconds later. As the minivan is speeding off, the trunk flies open, and these shelves and cabinets are flying out the back and tumbling right in front of me! I swerve around the first one, but as the minivan is changing lanes, other pieces of furniture is rolling out. I'm dodging Ikea crap left and right, as if I'm taking a driving test created by the Stuntdriver's School of America.

By the time the minivan pulled over, balsa wood and particle board were all over the road, and luckily, no one seemed to have gotten hurt or crashed. I, on the other hand, needed to find some way to dial down my adrenaline before I crushed the steering wheel with my temporary "Incredible Hulk" grip.

Now, looking back at all this several hours later, I can only suspect that there are worse ways to spend a Sunday...

Answering...

"Please leave a message at the sound of the beep."

BEEP!

Hi Mary, it's Tom again.
Yeah, I know, another message, right?
Hope you haven't forgotten
about me!

So, uh, anyway...

I really thought we
hit it off Mary, but...

I don't know what to feel now.
You said you were tired of
people playing games.
What do you call this Mary?
Phone tag? Tag, you're it!
Just kidding.

Look, if I in some way offended you,
just tell me. Mary, I'd still really like --

Tom?

Oh, Mary, hi! You screening --

You asshole. My name... is Beth.

CLICK.

From the latest "Meet My Muse" Group Challenge (haiku)

Drunken calls create
a Molotov cocktail of
explosive regret...

Hard Candy, Lolly

It's not your tough outer shell
that holds allure, but the center,
liquid-sweet confection
that holds affliction most sought after

Forbidden - only at the moments
where a lick here, a lick there,
is nowhere near saccharine delight
but still the taste of sour so trite

Past the temptation of Red-Dye 45
and seductive, lolita-esque
scents, it may not be worth the guilty
pleasure, filthy in the after-math...

... Of hard candy,
innocence, left.

The Bridge Near Joy St.

When I think back to times of felicity,
My thoughts meander back to
the bridge near Joy St. - footloose days,
Five-Star dining on night-time stargazing
always on the menu

She didn't wear no sundry dress,
nor flappy sandals - barefeet was
her favorite mode, face smudged with
the day's dirt her choice of powder,
hair untied, blowing gently across my face

During sweltered days we'd cool our toes
in the river below, cars honking at us to move
out the way, but I was already struck -
why no one warned me of her beauty,
I'll forever thank

As summer winds turned to autumn breeze,
the bridge brought us closer together -
only to tear us away, as I'd have to
return to CA, while she and her coveralls
had to stay in LA

The days stretched to years, so long
ago this memento, but I can still feel the water
flow between my fingers to your hands
touching, caressed, my Tomboy Billie,
out on the bridge near Joy St..

Lines (for Debra)

Hard to stray on the
straight and narrows,
wait, I meant -

In the queue, straight-conform
listless patience wearing thin
and shout of "new queue open"
springs the mob forward -
damn, I was next, but now
I play the patron saint of
second-guessing

HOLD ON! spread that Blow
even, I don't like my ROWS
in my ROWS! If it's mixed,
it's not rows now, IS IT?
Pride in getting high,
precision the key
to ecstasy

Gave a lift to my wife's best friend
blonde, perfect tan, perfect 10
her hand lingered on my thigh
by the end of the ride -
What... to... do?
What... to... say?
What... to... think?

A father kills the man that
murdered his son,
vengeance fulfilled but blurred
by Man's Law -
Justice by means of a
necessary time when
colorblind eyes, are a gift

Hard to stay on the
straight and harrows,
wait, I meant -

Can't Get No Satisfaction...

She tries in vain,
to make sense of an
insane fridge lacking
in-consumables

1st attempt,
a grilled cheese, meant
to bring one to their knees
but ended up being
half-hocked as sanguine
chedder fused with wheat bread
made cardboard cuisine

2nd attempt,
ramen noodles, an old standby
no college freshman can deny
but 5 cent goodness meant
5 dollar Pepto, a bad sign
when indigestion seems
most enterprise

3rd attempt,
Reece's Peanut Buttercups,
chocolate goodness can't screw up
but oh, it can - in melted form
so not the norm, when no distinction
'tween wax-paper and peanut sauce
is grounds for tastebud's eviction

4th and final,
nothing left to scurge nor scour
escaping further tastes toward sour
in satisfaction's grasp it came,
a Kaufman remedy saved the day
as Eternal Sunshine filled the room,
erasing former hunger, away...

Ode to Dad... Thanks for not killing me!

When I was 5,
you taught me how to ride
a bike, and when I was
taking off, you let go -
but you didn't teach me
how to stop so I crashed
into a thorny bush and
cut up my shins

When I was 10,
you gave me the courage
to try running down a hill,
but I slipped and slid
face first, grazing and
grazing on grass
while gravity laughed
at me

When I was 16,
you side-seat drove me
into nearly plowing the
family car into on-coming
traffic during a suicide
L.A. left turn - to this day
I can still hear the drivers
cursing at me

When I was 21,
I almost drove myself
over a cliff, but was saved
by a guard rail - I called you
in epopletic-eurasuring shock
with my hands shaking like
the San Andreas, but all you did
was calmly, comfort me

For everything you've ever done
for me, and for all the things that
didn't kill me, you have made
me stronger, and hopefully,
some day soon,
I can be a daddy to someone,
and God willing...
...be just like you.

Happy Father's Day!

Love,

Junior ;)

Flounder

It must be great where you are,
floating aimlessly,
no rush,
no hurry,
the excitement of a world
that revolves around you,
your every whim catered to,
food literally falling from the sky

Then you circle left,
circle right,
circle around
and around,
the pebbles of your zen garden
always in the right place,
just the way you like them

Such freedom to be had,
you are your own,
but... at what price?
Through the looking glass,
a prisoner of unwanted vices,
unaware that on this stage,
you, are the clown.

Sappy Sugar Ridiculous Love Poem (Reading this may cause cavities)

For Jenna, who I can't do this without...

I would die for you,
brave the fiercest battles,
slay your foes and crush your enemies
while conquering impenetrable strongholds,
just to taste a sip of your love.

I'd climb the highest mountain,
and when there were no more mountains left
I'd gather every mountain, destroy them,
and with their rocks and stones, build an even BIGGER mountain,
just so I could climb it and plant the flag of my love for you
on the peak - a shrine to your goddessness!

If we are apart, I will find you,
no matter the distance, no matter where you are,
I WILL FIND YOU!
I would run through scorching desert to reach you,
and when my legs give out, I will crawl,
and when my arms give out, I will roll,
rolling like a wheel, spinning with the thought of your beauty
spinning in my mind's eye, leading me to you.

To shower you with wealth, I would gather
every piece of coal known to man, forge Superman-heat
on every piece, creating so many diamonds that
they will be like sand in your palm, for we will
no longer need heat - for our eternal love will burn --
all the warmth we will ever, ever, need...

And when you go shopping, I will go with you,
carrying your bags, your servant - semper fi,
When you've had a long day, I will listen to you,
and only speak when spoken to
And if you find you're not in the mood,
I will leave you alone, giving you a backrub
that implies... nothing.

In the throes of thorn-lined raptures and fiery passion,
you... are my religion.


My thoughts are with you Jenna, Prayer winks ;)....

Coital

Oh, baby...
baby, right there...
...oh, wait, hang on -
...no, your left, baby-
your OTHER left --
that's it, right there --

Oh... oh my....

Baby!

yes... Yes... YES --
NO, WAIT... I'm right there --
Not so --
Baby, just --
... Don't shift! Don't --
... Okay, just --
baby... Baby... BA --


No.

I'm good.

Really...

Mono-Inuendo...

I want to be blown ---

away by your smile.

I want to suck ---


the exhaustion from your shoulders.


I want to thrust ---


my ideas upon your genius.


When I'm about to come ---


I'll call in advance.

For Cathy...

Cathy, my greatest bane of a dame,
usurping my power most frequently,
never apologetic, your red-rosy cheeks
truly are, a crimson prison.

In The Belly...

swarming, circling
figure 8's they're doing ---
God, she's smiling. Am I smiling? Maybe I should smile...
Oh, so full, crowding
blowing up a tornado-storming ----
She's laughing. That's a good sign, right? Turn up the charm...
those still left in cocoons
are bursting free soon -----
Please, Lord, don't let me do something stupid now...
it's too late, they've breached
salvation out of reach ------
What is she doing, is, is that...

...Her hand in mine,
and strangely, all fine.

Maquillage, Part III - Baby, I'm Worth It

KT Tunstall screams from the
Bose in the bedroom - Mabel applies
Maybelline with deft hands,
performing a routine so old hat
it's Gucci new

"Let's Go! We're gonna miss the movie!"
Tom loves his previews, and wonders
for the zillionth time why he must
endure the sacred ritual of
"getting ready to go"

Mabel's reply: Shelby-rose Revlon lips,
liquid Clarin lushness, and Chanel No.5 -
Tom can't resist to taste her kiss
"Honey, we're late"
"No... we're not gonna make it."

Maquillage, Part II - The Daily Grind

A Nelly/Slowburn Dance mix echoes
from the stage, as Sweet Chastity smears
on another coat of Dior Show on
them long, flyway lashes she flashes
while causing whip-lashes

Pinkie Swear body glitter
acts as armour, her Secret kept by
Victoria's naughty nightie, a uniform of
biltaral symmetry to induce ecstasy
in a man's vertical salute - defying gravity

Sweet Chastity, gyrating pole-dance queen
will snake charm a lap dance
out of you - she won't mind the grind
while whittling your time, your money
she soon calls, mine...

Maquillage, Part I - A Day to Remember

Handel plays softly in the distance
as a Bride to be adds a few
finishing touches, doing double-take
glances at the mirror, making sure
she's still there

A last touch of powder here and there,
sealing in more than just the fate ahead
on this day of days, her day,
all eyes focusing on her porcelain
perfection, if only so temporary

Doors swing wide, her gait tempered
as not to rush her moments down the aisle,
in no way giving away the fireworks exploding
in her heart - but the ruse of rouge does
poorly to hide her blushing joy towards, I do...

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Birthday Golf... Not a Pretty Sight

My friend, who we will call "JK," was celebrating his 33rd birthday yesterday. Actually, his birthday is on Monday, but I figured what the heck! Early better than late or not at all, right? So as the good friend I am, I was going to take him out to dinner, enjoy a nice meal, and celebrate another year of living. However, he proposes another idea: Golfing. Yep, he wanted me to golf with him for his birthday. Now, here's the kicker: I don't golf.

I don't know how to golf, I don't watch golf, nothing about me, says golf. Even though mini-golf appeals to me, dragging around a bunch of clubs and hitting it on a huge surface of grass is definitely not my idea of a good time. However, he was hinting that I was pussying out, and I wasn't going to take that kind of guff from anyone. I figured that this was one of those tests that you have to go through sometimes in a long friendship - and so help me God, I was going to show that I am open minded and a good friend. Who apparently needs about a 300 handicap.

Anyway, let me start back a few months ago: He had played golf himself when he was younger, but also didn't like it much. However, as we're getting older, the rush and speed of Tennis is wearing down our bodies, and I guess he figured that he needed to invest in a sport that would last him 'til he was gray and old. So golf it was, and... he wanted to drag me along with him. He had become so avid at it that he gave me his set of old golf clubs he had, hoping that I'd play with him. However, until last night, they had been sitting in my garage for the last 5 months, unused, and definitely, unswung.

So last night, with crappy golf clubs shouldered on an equally tattered old club bag, I strolled onto the greens, where he was waiting to tee off on Hole 1. Suffice it to say, I think I would have enjoyed a root canal while having my appendix removed without any anesthetic, more than I was "trying" to enjoy hitting on a 9-hole course in the early evening (you see, if you go close to sundown, they let you hit for free) I swung and missed a lot, much to his chagrin. However, since we really weren't taking score, I was allowed to swing as many times as it took to get the ball into the hole - which amounted to about 9-10 strokes. Yeah, Tiger shouldn't be worried about me.

I think I tore into the grass a few times, and luckily, the only person who saw me was JK, so it was only embarassment of one, and not many. But the funny thing was, the worse time I was having at this, the more JK looked happy. And you know, when it's your birthday, you can be as happy as you want, and if my crappy golf game can bring a smile to his face, then I've done my job.

As we were nearing the 9th, and God-blessed, final hole, I actually started to have a decent swing, and I'll admit, I was starting to have a little if not a nanite-sized smile on my face. Yes, I was, maybe, having a little fun in the process. So much so that I decided that the birthday golfing needed one more event: the driving range.

What better way to say that you're a loyal friend than to embarrass yourself around others in the public range? Since he had dragged me out this far, I was gonna do the Full-Monty of embarassment all the way to the end. We got a bucket of balls, we both took spots, and I, almost took someone's eye out when my ball swung up and over to the right. The woman was not amused. But JK was.

Again, the more I swung, the more I actually made contact with the ball. Some actually flew in a straight line. Most were just dropping 2 feet in front of me. But in the end, at least no one got hurt (yeah, it was close), and I had about 5% left of my dignity left to stride away.

We went out to dinner at this other not-so-fancy place, but I guess he didn't care. I guess playing golf on his birthday mattered more to him than I thought. So, have I turned around on this whole golf thing? Maybe a little... the driving range seems a bit appealing. But one thing I'm sure of - this was definitely a birthday tradition in the making... ;)

MySpace rant: Why can't I quit you?

I got into this whole blogging thing because of MySpace - and if it wasn't for MySpace, I wouldn't have found my passion for writing again. Like a long lost love reunited, this whirlwind affair has made me recommited to a relationship of scribbling poetry, musings, and thoughts, all for the world to see. Pretty soon, I started to build up a little fan base, which is always cool.

And of course, as the honeymoon closes, I find my love for writing strong, but my love for MySpace is wanning. It's clunky. It's crowded. And half the time, it's filled with banter that's as useless as a straight wingman at a gay bar. Okay, I went a little far with that one.

But for everything I love about it, there's always something there I hate - access to my profile is shoddy, updates are far and in between, and sometimes interaction between peers and newcomers is down-right frustrating when I keep getting bumped off it's massive network (as of writing this, MySpace is at about 98 million users). So I guess I can have MySpace, just not on "my time".

Granted, it's very useful for getting the word around, and it's helped me to reconnect with others that I haven't talked to in ages, but come on! Is all this worth the constant frustration of fighting the system just to see if anyone has added me or has read my stuff?

If MySpace wasn't down today, I'd probably not be blogging here - which I guess is good in a way - perhaps it might be time for me to move out of the college dorm that is MySpace, and see if I can stand on my own two feet, even if I've moved from one fishbowl to, well, another one.

Bottom line is - I don't want to wait in line to write, and if I have to publish somewhere else, so be it. So MySpace, you'll always have a place in my heart, but baby, right now, I just need "My... Space".

Gee, another blog. What will they think of next?

Hello there, to anyone that has accidentally ended up on this entry. This will be the first of many, and they will all be something about blogging, something about musings, something about poetry, and something, about, well, something.

I hope to amaze and entertain, but okay, let's face it - I'm here to entertain myself first, and you'all are along for the ride. Chill, hang out, and may I suck your precious time away.

Super Winks!... ;)

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Random Haiku #51

Old couple walking
hand in hand, their joy aglow
with each step they take...

Monday, July 17, 2006

Random Haiku #50

Lady at bus stop,
flicks her cig, leans out to check
where the bus could be...

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Random Haiku #49

Made it just in time
great seat, armrests to myself -
where is my popcorn?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Random Haiku #48

Otaku boys love
low rise, T-Backed Manga girls -
more than the real thing...

Monday, July 10, 2006

Random Haiku #47

Only astronauts
can make the act of "going
to work" seem epic...

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Random Haiku #46

Dawn's rays through curtains
just enough not to blind me
but rouse me to see...

Friday, July 07, 2006

Random Haiku #45

Broken chains, bad luck
7 years of no love life
yeah, what else is new?...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Random Haiku #44

Of all the bridges
I've built, I wish ours was the
one I could repair...

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Random Haiku #43

Speeding cars slow down
5-O sets the pace out front
lead feet turned liquid...

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Ode to the 4th...

Independence Day -
reminder to fight the good
fight worth fighting for...

Let Freedom ring,
Let Freedom, reign.

Have a great 4th, and see you all exercising your
1st Amendment rights later... ;)

Monday, July 03, 2006

Random Haiku #42

Phone rings, brushing teeth -
Spit out paste, pick up in time
to hear dial tone...