8:15 PM - Arrive at the airport. Use E-Ticket machine that looks like R2-D2's cousin to get my boarding pass. I'm amused. So far, so good.
8:25 PM - Pass through security screening. Screener with the magic wand looks at me like I'm retarded - gee, do I need to take off my shoes or not? Just tell me! He is shocked that I speak English, I have no idea why.
8:27 PM - Guy operating X-Ray machine forgets to move my stuff along the conveyor. I'm left standing around looking like a moron with socks on. The security guys find this hilarious. I want to slap them. I see "Mr. Magic Wand" chuckle from the corner of my eye. I think about "getting real" at this moment, but decide to let it slide.
8:35 PM - I find a seat at the gate among other "world-weary" travelers. Some have turned benches into makeshift beds, bending their bodies around the permanent armrests that are supposed to deter such napping. Humans can be clever, stupid and hicks at the same time.
8:40 PM - Evesdrop on kid sitting next to me, talking loudly on his cellphone to his brother. They argue about "carbonation conten in carbonated beverages." Shouting match ensues. His brother hangs up. I grin a little.
8:49 PM - Stare up at the flight updates monitor. It's still there.
8:50 PM - Check the flight updates monitor again. It blinks sporadically for a second, then - nothing. Still on time.
9:10 PM - I'm reading "Fast Food Nation" across from some guy that is eating a Big Mac. The irony is not lost on the both of us. I continue to read and he slurps his cola.
9:15 PM - A line starts forming next to me to board the plane. However, several passengers are turned away - a flight before us is using OUR gate to board passengers, and the confusion has got the natives riled up. Ho-hum, do read your tickets.
9:40 PM - An older female counter attendant that was chewing out an irrate passenger a few minutes before, is now smiling and making funny faces to a baby being held by his father. So quickly we can switch from postal to passionate.
10:08 PM - Boarding the aircraft. Loud, shrieking noise blares from the umbilical entrance. I have to stand at the door for 2 minutes. Ears almost bleeding. Noise stops as I walk to my seat.
10:12 PM - I ask a flight attendant where I can stow my bag in the overhead. Clearly Canadian, she points to an empty spot I miss and gives me the evil eye at the same time. She scares me.
10:15 PM - I meet my seat-mate, who's got the window seat. He's rapidly tapping on his laptop as if the fate of the world depended on his typing skills. He admires my SLVR cellphone. We geek-out for a few minutes. He goes back to talking a mile-a-minute on his cell.
10:23 PM - Final boarding. I'm sitting next to 3 empty seats. However, they are for the flight attendants, who seem to take great pleasure in turning away greedy seat hogs that come their way.
10:28 PM - A case of soap above my head starts leaking. Flight attendant cleans up the mess before I get a free shampooing. I am grateful.
10:30 PM - Safety video shows a guy switching off his iPod before take-off. Apple has finally become a lexicon of international aviation.
10:33 PM - A baby cries 4 ros ahead of me. My seatmate and I start going into our "happy places".
10:43 PM - Still at the gate. Seat-mate has put on sleeping mask over his eyes, so no chance for awkward chit-chat.
10:48 PM - Natives getting restless. Sitting next to lavatory blows. A guy trying to get one of the flight attendant's seat cannot understand that none of them are available. He's just dense, dumb, and dunced.
10:50 PM - Seat-mate and guy in front start talking after guy in front was beating out a Sehk-rhythm on his tray table, waking my seat-mate up. They leave me to writ about all this in peace.
10:58 PM - My Seat-mate is CJ. The guy in front is Panji. CJ is a professional singer, and Panji plays percussion. They music-geek it out for awhile, spilling their whole life stories BEFORE TAKE OFF.
11:03 PM - They are still talking about music. My ears need to be sowed back on.
11:04 PM - Takeoff, FINALLY!
11:14 PM - Cruising at altitude, tons of people make a bee-line to the lavatories. My elbows take a lot of abuse. I'm regretting my decision to sit in the aisle.
11:30 PM - In-flight movie is "Mission Impossible III". I watch it out of boredom.
Tom looks even smaller on a small screen.
*****
6:04 AM - I hear the flight attendants gossip about someone stealing all the soap in one of the lavatories. Really, who does that?
*****
6:39 AM - Customs lines are slow, but moving. Some of us look like zombies.
... or so I thought...
TO BE CONTINUED... ;)
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