Difference Between What Was Said.... And What Was Meant

In life, verbal communication has a life all its own - full of hidden clues, inuendo, and subtext as laiden as the Da Vinci Code.

And to that end, what we perceive to be the message that we are hearing, is not what our brains are processing at all. For instance, I had to talk to a client over the phone at work today, and, let's call her "Emily." Emily and I, you could say, don't really get along, but we fake it anyway, for the sake of "keeping it professional." You know what I'm talking about.

Here's what was SAID:

Me: Hello?
Emily: Hi, it's Emily!
Me: Hey, what's up!
Emily: Just wanted to give you a heads up on some reservation orders that I just sent through.
Me: Oh, okay.
Emily: I actually sent out 2 of the same orders before I realized that I had the wrong info on one of them, so if you could make sure that the one marked for Spain goes, that would be great!
Me: So, what do you want me to do with the other one?
Emily: Oh, that one you can ignore.
Me: Okay, got it.
Emily: So, just the one marked for Spain, is the right one.
Me: No problem.
Emily: Thanks!

CLICK!

Here's what was MEANT:

Me: Yeah?
Emily: It's Emily, asshole.
Me: What do you want, twat?
Emily: Just wanted to let you know I've got some shit I don't want you to fuck up.
Me: Oh, really? Bring it on, Cunty McCunterson!
Emily: So I sent you two orders of the same thing - one of them is wrong, so just use the one marked for "Spain." Do you THINK you can remember that?
Me: Uh, yeah, bitch - let me write it down (I'm making gestures in the air, as if I'm scribbling it all out), and so, like, what the hell you want me to do with the other order? Shove it in your pie-hole?
Emily: Oh, that one you can stick up your ass.
Me: Yeah, thought so, rug-muncher.
Emily: So, just the one for "Spain" - you know, Spain, right? Do I need to draw you a fucking map?
Me: No, I'll just remember that you're such a fucking PAIN that it rhymes with SPAIN, so, I won't forget. Seriously, blow me.
Emily: Fuck your mother!

CLICK!

And, scene.

DISCLAIMER: What you've just read may, or may not be, a work of fiction. Thanks for reading!... ;)