Well, I'm behind on all my other blogs, the blogs from which I've been tagged, and of course, trying to pump out new poetry. So, what else is new?
Anyway, without getting into the details of why and how I ended up at the "Happiest place on Earth," (believe me, it's a story I would tell you if I could), here's a few things that I observed happen at the Magic Kingdom, and continue to still ponder:
1. It's the 21st century - why are we still walking around the park? For a place that was first with the Monorail, I think they could have installed a million conveyor belts by now, so we could all glide around like George Jetson. Tired parents would be forever grateful.
2. Why can't they sell food and beverages while we're standing in line for the rides? They already do it at ballparks, what's the difference? I would love to be able to chow down while waiting to board Space Mountain, then have the privilege of hurling the hot dog I just ate immediately after I got off the ride. It's efficient, you gotta admit.
3. Anyone else get the irony that Space Mountain in Tomorrowland is the longest and slowest line, wheras Frontierland and Fantasyland has the most efficient line speeds? Get it together - the future is now, and the future operates at the speed of light. Seriously, build another Space Mountain already.
4. Why do people keep asking for funnel cakes at commisaries that DO NOT HAVE THEM ON THE MENU? Look people, I know you're probably brain dead from wheeling your children from ride to ride and making sure they don't do something stupid, but please reserve some brain power and read the menu carefully. If it's not there, it's elsewhere, so don't assume EVERY place has them. The 20 people behind you waiting to order the garbage that is on the menu will be greatful.
5. Why do they put warning labels on plush toys for ages 2 and up, but there's no warnings on these twirling light things that have these LED tentacles attached? It's like waving around a blender near your face. So I guess it's not safe to chew on a plush Mickie, but the risk of losing an eye on one of those light toys is perfectly normal. Talk about collateral damage...
6. Speaking of light toys, why are people still buying those flourescant glow bands and sticks? You are not going to get the one that lasts forever, so move on. If you want to get a light toy, get the cheap-o Light Saber rip offs. Yes, those don't come with warning labels either, but this gripe is about value, not safety.
7. Stop with the harsh start/stops at the end of rides. I don't remember having the sensation of a "train" being run up my ass like I was in San Quentin promised in the brochure. Invest in better shocks, I think you guys can afford it. Besides, the whiplash I already got is plenty.
8. And finally, there's a place to store your stuff and a Lost and Found section - why isn't there a Nap Space made? There are fathers out there that were sleeping behind the wheel - during Autopia! And I had a mother and daughter literally pass out right next to me on the Disney Train. I know, there's a hotel in the park, but what about us One Day-Passer's? You could charge us up the nose for a little cot, but the feeling of being refreshed and not going postal on our kids at the end of the day would be worth it.
So until my next adventure, thanks for reading... ;)
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