Tanti Auguri A Te!

It's not uncommon to hear "Happy Birthday" sung at a restaurant - most people like to spend their special day with friends and family at some dining establishment, getting the free desert, and enjoy being serenaded by a bunch of waitstaff that would no sooner tear out their own vocal chords than to have to sing that song for the millionth time.

However, what I witnessed goes beyond what I've ever seen before, and just like Halley's Comet, I'm sure I won't be seeing again any time soon.

On Saturday night, I was out at this Italian place, when this waiter walks over to a nearby table, claps to get everyone's attention, and belts out the "Happy Birthday" song - in Italian. Yep, it was gonna be one of those "subtitle moments" in life.

Tanti auguri a te, otherwise translated as "Many wishes to you", is a staple among Italian eateries. At this place it was sung by one of the waitstaff, usually male, and depending on their vocal training could either sound like Andre Bocelli or Andre the Giant.

This guy, I will admit, was not half bad. He didn't get too off key, everyone laughed and clapped, and I thought he was done. As I'm digging into my wheat penne, I'm startled by a loud sounding TAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

He's at it again, this time 4 tables down. Sweat is on his brow. His voice quivers but he belts the tune out again. Everyone stops in their tracks, as they too realize that they are witnessing an act rarely seen at a restaurant - a rapid succession of the Happy Birthday song. In Italian!

For the next hour and a half (or at least how long I was there), this waiter - God bless his soul - sings the B-Day song 6 times. It is around the 4th time when I start questioning the philosophy of having too much of a good thing.

On the 5th time, you could kind of hear his voice crack at the high notes, which only made him sing louder. But wouldn't you know it, he still finishes the song as the round of applause brings him on home. My food is getting cold, but I'm so wrapped up in this guy's plight that I could care less if my Eggplant Parmesan was getting soggy.

I'm truly impressed by the amount of abuse this guy was taking. I'm not sure what was going through his mind - perhaps the large tips he might get for doing all these solo acts, or maybe he truly did like his job so much that he didn't mind doing his Pavarotti impersonation in front of 100 total strangers.

By the 6th and final one I witnessed, I could definitely see that he was tiring of all this a-cappela serenading. He had grabbed a water a few moments before, downed it, went to serve another table (yeah, he was still managing all his tables on the floor), and jumped up on a chair.

He really didn't look like he could do it, but he had a flash of brilliance that I won't forget. The table he was singing for was this party of 15. I guess he figured that since we had all heard the song a few times that we'd have no problem singing along with him.

So he claps and shouts, "Everyone! I'm gonna need your help. Okay?" He starts with TAAAAAAAAA...

Amazingly, everyone in the restaurant, myself included, fake our way through the Italian B-Day song. We stayed in unision, note after sour note. It was a thing of really "Beauty meeting the Beast" kind of experience, a total car wreck that is grotesque, yet you couldn't dare to look away.

No one cared. The large party was busy slapping themselves on the back and applauding the waiter. He stood for a few seconds on that chair before descending back down to the masses.

On the drive home, I couldn't help wondering if there's someone that does something like that for him on his birthday.

If there were, I bet he'd asked them to sing it in English... ;)