Orig. August 8, 2006 - The Return Home...
5:30 AM - Wake up, wondering where I am, and then I remember I'm still not in Kansas. God, I need to pack.
6:45 AM - Check out of hotel. Finished packing my stuff and it feels lighter - how does that happen?
6:47 AM - One the road to the airport. It's still sunrise, the scorching ball of light only burning small holes in our retinas - but we'll live.
7:04 AM - Got lost again and missed the interchange. Exited at this giant mall, where I barely saw the sign to point us back to the right freeway. Sun still shining in our faces, increasing the level of difficulty. Dad says "Don't panic." I keep mine from showing.
7:41 AM - Dropped off the rental car, now using "Canadian R2-D2" to do check-in. Lines are long and insane this morning.
7:53 AM - Start lining up for customs. It too is long. Still haven't checked in bags yet, which sucks. A lady from the airline starts yelling at us like we're cattle, which, we are sort of herding like.
8:34 AM - Clear customs - Customs Agent was friendly and glad to see my father and I. Oh joy! Also pass through security screening without hassle. The Screening inspector thought my PSP was "bitch'n". ***SIDE NOTE FOR JJ4: I cleared customs through window "4"***
8:46 AM - Find breakfast joint to enjoy "American breakfast". The irony isn't lost on my father either.
9:19 AM - Waiting at the gate. There's an older brother tossing his little brother up and down in the air. HIs mother tells them to stop, but the brothers continue. Mother takes out camcorder and films them. What you gonna do, huh?
9:22 AM - An old lady in a wheelchair is being wheeled to her plane. She is crying and looks disoriented - aren't we all?
9:40 AM - Boarded the plane, sitting in the aisle again. But I sacrifice elbow hits for less claustrophobia.
9:41 AM - My seatmates arrive. It's a complete sausage fest - the Window Guy is an I.T. Tech, and the Middle Guy is a real estate agent. They bond like white on rice.
9:43 AM - Asian underage hotties sit across from me. They exude the energy of a Jessica Simpson/Lindsay Lohan music video. I can feel my I.Q. dropping. Requisite cockblocking/boyfriend accompanies said party - he seems "N-Synch"-ish as well, but not so much Lance Bass.
9:49 AM - Sitting by the galley, the smell of hot maple syrup is drowning my senses. I breathe syrup now. I'm now surrounded by families with babies and toddlers, evoking total deja-vu'...
9:54 AM - Still haven't left the gate. Seatmates are gonna start making out soon. The Asian hotties are excited about watching the in-flight movie "Over the Hedge". Their "bubblyness" is irritating. My air knob is a little screwy, so cold air blows on me whether I like it or not.
9:59 AM - I make "baby faces" with a baby across from me. She is really cute. I hope she doesn't cry.
10:07 AM - As usual, no one is paying attention to the safety video. I at least read the safety card, but hey, whatever... the baby's making faces again. She calms me.
10:10 AM - Captain tells us that our bags were delivered to the plane late, which has caused our late take-off. As if there was someone we can yell at now.
10:11 AM - Flight attendant mistakes my earbuds for iPod, yet I'm not plugged into anything. I take off my buds reluctantly so I "don't make a scene" - I think I've had enough rebel rousing in Canada.
10:50 AM - Fell asleep before take-off. Baby didn't cry a bit. That's good. I'm sure take-off was lovely...
10:55 AM - I keep drifting in and out of wakefullness, asses and elbows pressed near my face, some good, most not. I'm starting to rethink my sitting in the aisle philosophy.
11:51 AM - I'm so bored that I'm watching a "Winnie the Pooh" movie playing on a personal DVD player two rows in front of me. The kid watching is glued. So am I.
11:57 AM - Kid changed the DVD to "Sesame Street" just as I was getting into the Pooh. Oh, Pooh!
12:00 PM - Inflight movie starts - "The Sentinel", not "Over the Hedge" - Asian girls are disappointed. My Window Guy refuses to pull down his shade. A fellow rebel...
BACK IN LA...
3:05/12:05 PM - Wake up, flight attendant screamed again about our descent (yeah, I think "The Sentinel" helped me to pass out). I wish they would stop doing that. Of course, I was in the middle of dreaming about Eva Longoria, but alas, that is another story.
12:32 PM - Arrive in LA. Landing, again, was as smooth as sandpaper. Yeah, like I could do better...
1:08 PM - Out of the terminal! Got our luggage after finding out it went to the wrong claim carousel! Stepping out into the airport, the air is dirty and dry, the noise is loud and obnoxious.
It's good to be home.
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