The Door Should Have Had A Warning Sign...

All day, I've been thinking to myself, "If I had just waited a few more minutes..."

Flashback 7 hours ago:

I drink quite a bit of fluids throughout the workday to keep myself super-hydrated - whether it be water, tea, watered-down tea, you name it. And of course, the call of nature screams right into my ear when I least need it to. But do I change my habits? Not really. Besides, heading to the restroom at work is a God-given right and an excuse to take a non-break in the middle of a busy day.

I have only myself to blame...

So I head to the men's room and before I know it - BAM!!!! KA-POW!!!!

I've been slammed in the face by a smell so foul that I feel like I just ran face first into Chuck Liddell's fist. My head whiplashes, as the wave of odor shoots right past my nostrils and into my cerebellum. Truly, I could almost see stars and everything.

Okay, I bet you think it's because the smell was from someone's leftover "business", right?

No, this was something far worse.

This was the smell of air freshener GONE BANANAS.

It felt as if someone blew up an entire potpourri factory made up of rotten flowers in the stall -- in fact, I think the smell of someone's "business" would have been better than the effervescent perfume that was invading every part of my senses.

But I had no choice. I had a mission to accomplish and I was just gonna have to suck it up, convulsions and all.

With eyes watering and nose melting off, I did what needed to be done, and shot out of there as if I was on fire.

Breathing through my mouth for several minutes, I was able to gain back my composure and take back my body from anaphylactic shock. EMTs would not be needed this day.

"If I had just waited a few more minutes..."

But the mystery remains: was the air freshener working alone, or was it a "hybrid" stink of some sorts? Really, I'm in no hurry to solve this case, 'cause I'm sure I probably don't want to know anyway... ;)