Conversations in Air Freight: How Can We Help You?...

The following is another true-to-life conversation I had with an automated voice system for a courier company I was trying to send a package with, and later, how I got to speak with a real life person:

RING!!!

Welcome to Ship-Stuff Express... How can we help you?... For rates, say "rates".

Rates.

Okay, one moment please... Please say the number in pounds of the weight of your package?

30.

...What is the 5-digit zip code that you are sending the package from?

90045.

What is the 5-digit zip code of the destination you are sending the package to? If not in the U.S., say "International Shipment".

International shipment.

Thank you. Please say the name of the country you are sending the package to.

Trinidad.

I heard you say "Canada". Is this correct? If not, say "Go Back".

Go back.

Please say the name of the country you are sending the package to.

Trinidad.

I'm sorry, I didn't understand that. Could you please repeat the name of the country in which you'd like to send your package?

Trinidad!

I heard you say "Thailand". Is this correct? If not, say "Go Back".

Go back!

Please say the name of the country you are sending the package to.

Trinidad!!!

I'm sorry, I didn't understand that... If you'd like to speak with a Representative, please press "zero".

BEEP! (Me pressing zero)

Minutes later, a Representative comes on the line:

Hello, this is Ship-Stuff Express, how may I help you?

Yes, I'd like the rate for a package I'm sending here in North America to Trinidad.

Okay, I can help you with that sir. What is weight of your package?

30 lbs.

And the zip code of where this package is starting from?

90045.

And what city in "Israel" is this package going to?

Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

CLICK!