It Came To Me After The Garter Toss...

As I told y'all a few days ago, I was heading to the Bay Area for my cousin's wedding.

They kept a large glass near the bridal party's table where you can drop love notes to share with the newlyweds. Inspiration hit me with this:

Keep each other close,
In the moments that matter most -
So let your lives be filled with bliss,
Sweetly marked by many a kiss...

I don't know if I'm really back, but something tells me it never left... ;)

Yes, Women Say No To Me All The Time...

What is it about you?

What do you mean?

You know exactly what I mean!

I'm not following.

You go out with the hottest girls in town - in any town - for that matter! Do girls ever say "No" to you?

Of course they do. Who do you think I am, God?

Name one time that that's happened.

Well, just the other night, a girl couldn't stop telling me "No."

All right, now we're getting somewhere.

Yeah, she was like "No... don't stop, keep GOING! No... Harder! HARDER! No... DEEPER!" --

You're such a dick.

0.g. 7/13/08

Shopping List of Amorousness...

If you could be so kind
- pretty, pretty please -
Can you stop off at the
store and grab:

A bottle of Summer Kisses
Couple cans of Kinky Tickles
3 bars of Caressing Napes
2 lbs. of Rosemary Hickies
A sprig of Magic Mischief
and a dozen Saffron Whispers?

Oh, if they have Strawberry Buss
on sale, grab a few - if not,
I'll just make do...

Not Even Lint Off A Sweater...

Gone without a trace,
absolution train has left
the station for good...


***I may be a little sad this week, but I'm not gonna let that keep me down. I'm taking back the reigns - slowly... ***

They Said "I Do" No Matter What...

I've broken my vow of "no blogging til the script's complete" because for this memory, I just had to share, even if it's just so I know that it really happened.

I attended this wedding Saturday at this beautiful place in Malibu -- it overlooked the Pacific, the breeze was blowing through the slight marine layer, and happiness was in the air.

Of course, things were going too well, so nature had other things in mind. The whole event was outdoors, and after this week of firestorms and zero rain in California, Mother Nature decided now to grant us a little sprinkle from the heavens, literally, "raining on the whole parade."

The light drizzle turned into a tiny downpour as the wedding ceremony went underway. We sat there like fools (no one had an umbrella), watching the couple get married - get this - by both a Priest AND a Rabbi (the service was mutli-denominational/inter-faith). It all felt like we were in the middle of a strange Mel Brooks comedy - a slight tear in the fabric of space which allowed us all to witness something pretty cool.

Although I hoped that they could get through their vows a bit faster because I could feel the water seeping right through my suit, I nonetheless enjoyed witnessing those two people commit themselves together, to say to the world "We love each other, and this day, nothing is gonna bring us down." And of course, as the newly joined bride and groom walked down the aisle together, the rain stopped, much to the chagrin of all in attendance. Someone up there surely has a sense of humor.

During the cocktail reception before dinner, the clouds and the marine layer broke for a few minutes. The bride and groom grabbed the photographers and took a picture with this beautiful sunset back-lighting them, a true Kodak moment. It is one of my personal highlights of the day.

The dinner was also outdoors, and Mother Nature continued to give us a reprieve. We dined on delicious food under the stars, and everyone joined together in the camaraderie that only comes from sharing a collective mishap - "How about that rain, huh?" became the most favored ice breaker, the spark of the evening.

So the wedding didn't go exactly as planned, so what? People made do, and the couple didn't sweat it. I think the whole thing would have turned out more sour if they seemed pissed off at how the weather turned out, but if it's one thing I've taken from all this, it's this:

Sometimes you've just got to roll with it.

'Cause who knows? Perhaps perfection really is beheld in the eye of the moment... ;)

I'm Pretty Sure...

I'm pretty sure
I'll never understand
a woman's desire
for Jimmy Choos

I'm pretty sure
I'll never understand
why women travel in
packs to the restroom

I'm pretty sure
I'll win an argument
with a woman only
when she wants me to

But most all --

I'm pretty sure,
that you'll still love
me with all the things
I put YOU through...

o.g. 2/14/07

It's Official: I'm Denser Than Mercury...

I stopped by the supermarket on the way to work this morning - and no, I wasn't slowed down in the checkout line this time - and as the female store clerk put my items into my plastic bags, she asked the strangest thing.

"Will you be needing any help carrying these items to your car today?" she asked.

Okay, I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. This question wouldn't normally be considered strange, but here's what I was buying:

-a bag of salad
-one rotisserie chicken

Yep, that's it. Pretty much less than 3 lbs.

"Um, yeah, I think I can manage," I reply.

"Well, you never know," she says, before walking over to another checkout line.

I walk out of the store, and then realize what happened -- she was flirting with me.

Dear God, what is wrong with my head?

In math terms, it'd look like:
Cute girl + nonsensical statement = SHE WAS INTERESTED!

Have I looked down the barrel of rejection for so long that I can't see an opening when it appears right before me?

I am seriously beside myself. I am denser than Mercury. Heck, I am denser than Dark Matter.
I need a CAT scan STAT!

If ya'll excuse me, I've got "Get a CLUE Idiot!" exercises to work on... ;)

Sunrise Tip-Toeing...

You had left early -
I imagine you groping
in the dark for your
clothes and keys,
tip-toeing out so as not
to disturb me --
but I wish you had,
'cause I would have said
your moves aren't bad,
though another chance
to etch you in my skin
would be grand...

... I'll miss you, er,
what's your name again?

Home...

There are those that
define a homes as having
walls,
windows,
pictures,
furniture and or
a fireplace

But home to me
are your
open arms,
sweet smile,
the smell of your
unkempt hair - you are
the home my peace resides...

Sense-Symphonic...

The sun will feel
warm on my face,

placid lakes I see
remain so calm,

the coffee I smell
is strong and inviting,

blueberries I taste
are sweet as can be,

the birds I hear
will sing as melodic --

With you in the picture,
my senses collide symphonically

where everything I knew
feels new again, and so much...

...more Alive.

Valentine's Day, served 21st Century Senryu style...

Cupid, strike me down!

With laser-guided arrows --

No way you can miss!!!

**Big thanks and SUPER WINKS ;) to those that sent me e-cards and special notes this year - Loved every one of them! And may we all appreciate those we love - today, each day, and the tomorrows to come... P.S. I'm feeling particularly festive, so I might post more than once today, so I'll catch ya'll later... ;)**

A Life-long Love Like No Other...

It was rainy and gloomy, but my parents didn't care.

We were pretty close to losing a client at work, but my parents didn't care.

I almost screwed up a project, but my parents didn't care.

Why?

'Cause yesterday we celebrated my parent's 35th Wedding Anniversary with family and friends, with some of the couples in attendance inching closer to the same milestone.

35 years -- I can't even make a relationship last 35 minutes!

I don't know how they do it, but they make it happen everyday. Together.

They give me hope that lasting love is not a myth - 'cause of all the things I am cynical about,
I hope marriage will never be one of them... ;)