CES: It should be short for "Can't Even Sit!"...

I guess you can say that I've seen a lot and NOT seen a lot at CES so far. Seen a lot in the fact that I've roamed most of the convention center already. But not seen so much 'cause it's hard to keep my attention at any one thing for very long. My brain is on complete overload from all the gadgets and flashy TVs that inundate me left and right. Seriously folks, my head is drowning in a sea of tech-induced euphoria.

Though I've been keeping up with CES coverage online and basically following whatever the heck Gizmodo and Engadget are posting up, it is an entirely different thing to walk around with a mass of people all pushing and shoving in an orderly fashion to check out tech that they might not purchase, but drool over all the same.

As always, I'm learning a lot from this experience. For instance, no matter how super-flat that HDTVs are this year, someone in the crowd always asks "Is THAT really how thin they can get it? I thought it'd be thinner."

You find out that the "Booth Babes" aren't only pretty, but they know EVERY product that they are demonstrating. At least they sound like they know what they're talking about, which I can't quite say the same about the sales guys on the floor.

Places to sit down are scarce. Sure, they have couches and chairs smattered about somewhere, but they're never around when you need them. And when you do find a chair, albeit missing an armrest and looks like the Incredible Hulk left an imprint of his ginormous ass-cheeks in the cushion, you collapse in it anyway, relishing in the fact thay you're off your feet for the briefest of moments.

Some gadgets have unusual selling points. Samsung has created a camera that can withstand hot desert climates up to 112 degrees. That's great, 'cause It's good to know that if I'm trapped in Death Valley while on a shoot, I'm sure to die long before my camera does.

And most of all, I've discovered that for a technology convention that is forward concious about the environment and trying to be as "green" as possible, it sure as hell goes through A LOT OF PAPER! For maps, maps for the maps, books, the CES Daily report, Starbucks cups, and even paper printouts for registration, someone is printing and collating enough tree material so supplement a small industrial nation. There's also the electronic maps that people download, don't get me wrong, but don't think they aren't grabbing a dead-tree edition as a backup.

And there's 3 more days of this.

I'm putting in 2 more days myself before I cut-myself off cold turkey. Though I'll continue to explore the convention floor, I will probably leave this event still wondering:

Do we really need any of this junk?

Well, I guess a 90 inch flat plasma HDTV could be swell for "some" things... ;)

Sound Assumptions...

The ability to smell whether or not a hard-drive has fried. To hear the death clink of a skipping CD. To connect ethernet cables into the back ports of computers simply by feel.

These are just some of the skills you need in order to be a "handy PC/Mac fix-it guy". But you know what those IT fellas never stress? Listening with your gut.

FLASHBACK: 5 months ago

My mother bought some new Dells for her company, and naturally, she wanted me to help her set them up so they'd be ready to go upon the first few clicks on a keyboard. An easy can-do job, and most everything seemed to work fine.

Except for one computer.

At the time, I didn't think much of it, but in the crystal-clear view of hindsight, perhaps I should have done a bit more Sherlock Holmes instead of John Holmes when it came to the task at hand. You see, it was making this "whirring" sound, not unlike a computer that's overclocked and running 3 fans at the same time. The noise wasn't that bad, and the person using the machine seemed to be fine with it. I too, had been used to loud computer fans on my older Macs, so I assumed it was an acceptable machine fluke.

Flashforward: Present Day

Checking up on the Dell systems, I listened to that one troubling computer again, only this time it sounded like a nuclear-powered weed whacker going 400 miles an hour. This was getting a bit ridiculous. I turned off the computer and popped open the hood.

Sweet Christ.

Apparently, someone though it'd be a smart idea to tape the installation CDs for the Dell inside a clear-pouch window. Unfortunately, the glue for the pouch was weak, so all this time the pouch slipped off, slowly getting shredded by the CPU fan causing that awful ruckus.

Needless to say, I removed the culprit most swift-ricky-tick. A couple spritzes of compressed air to clear away the shredded plastic and voila! The computer was as quiet as a zen garden.

If you get anything out of this story, I hope it's this: No sound rings louder than the one made by a single hand THWACKING a forehead over carelessness... ;)