My Oscar 2009 Guesses...

It's about 15 minutes before the awards show starts, and I'm calling the following:

Mickey Rourke will win Best Actor, and best song and best picture will be Slumdog Millionaire. But overall, I'm sure Hugh Jackman is gonna be a darn cool host...;)

UPDATE: Hugh Jackman did do a fine job -- he didn't botch the music numbers once. And I TOTALLY called the Slumdog Millionaire stuff, yet sadly disappointed I didn't get Mickey right. Then again, I didn't see Ben Still coming out as Joaquin Phoenix either, so I guess I'll call it even.

Scenes from Guilin: A Cruise Along the Li River...

As promised, here's the other video of my journey down the Li River. Hope ya'll enjoy the ride as much as I did. Though, the first hour was pretty cool, but by hour 3 I couldn't wait to get off the ship. Here's to the magic of editing:





The link to the HD version is here

Scenes from Guilin: The Long Haired Women of Longshen...

Hey there, it's your fave slacker blogger finally getting off his ass and doing some editing of some travel footage. Below I've got two movies for your amusement -- the first is of the Long Haired Women of Longshen, doing a demo of what it's like having "Guinness Book of Records" length straight hair. Going through an entire bottle of Pantene is not uncommon in these parts:

***One more thing: If you want to watch it in High Quality, just click the little "HQ" on the right bottom corner of the video (recommended). And if you want to watch this stuff in HD quality, well, I'll mention the links at the bottom of each clip***




link to HD version here



And the second one is of Me with the Longshen Women, participating in something that I still kinda regret doing, but, well... just watch it. You'll get what I mean.



link to High Quality version here



I'll have one more by tomorrow, just in time for Chinese New Year season! Woo-Hoo!... ;)

CES Day 2, Over and Out! Bring Me Back To The Masses...

I am completely burned out.

It's now Day 3 of CES and I'm still only writing about Day 2 because frankly, I really can't take any more of the floors, the peddling, and the crowds. Again, seeing a lot, but not seeing a lot, that's the problem...

As the CES experiences comes to a close for me, I continue to reflect upon things I stumble upon while exploring. It seems that CES is probably the only time where you'll find a group of guys staring harder at a set of CPU processors than the lovely booth girl that's standing beside it. In fact, if a booth girl is in the way, it only makes the guys stare harder because they think they can develop X-ray vision that will see right through her, and onto the merchandise. Of course, there's always exceptions to this rule.

Like the fact that the AVN Adult Expo takes place at the EXACT SAME TIME as the CES, and they co-mingle in particular at the Sands Expo Center where the Adult Expo is being hosted. Ah, where YouTube meets Boob-Tube, and "is that a harddrive in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" takes on SOOOOOO many different meanings. Suffice it to say, there were a lot of guys that "accidentally" stumbled into the wrong conventions. But hey, if anyone can make sense of glass dildos having anything to do with new OLED sceens, it's these geeks.

So is the dilemma of the photographers working both events. Do I take pictures of the semi-nude models dressed as porn angels ascending a flight of stairs, or should I get that shot of the new Sony Cybershot camera? Or, can I do both? And talk about feminism -- There were probably more women taking pictures of pornstars than their male colleagues. I don't know if that's progressive, but it seems like everyone's in on the joke, all genders included.

And of course, my favorite distraction was playing the game "Pornstar, or not a Pornstar." Some women you see wearing nothing but a thong, pasties, and clear platform heels? Probably in Adult entertainment. Of course, it's also a business conference, so the nerdy-looking female in the powersuit is probably trying to sell GangBang Pussies 7 onto the masses. So as vision blurs, so do the lines of what is business and pleasure.

So, what can we surmise from all this convention madness? Technology continues to get better, but computer batteries are still crappy. 3D TVs are on the horizon, but they're gonna be hella expensive. Robots may not rule the world, but by middle 2009 they will mow your lawn automatically. Apparently, you can have too many video screens in a car -- I say putting one right on the gas cap a bit over the line. And as always, sex sells everything. Sex sells itself. Sex is in the microchips and on a woman's hips.

And like every year, we're gonna want to have this stuff and not want it all at the same time... ;)

Bette Midler: A F--king Diva (She said it!)...

I know, I know, I'm supposed to be uploading Hong Kong pics and working on Guilin vids, but hey, can a slacker get a break?

I realize I haven't officially updated this blog since before I came home, so let's just start right here:

I was back in Los Angeles a few days, and now I've been in Las Vegas for about 4 days.

Sorry kiddies, but this trip is also without Hookers and Blow since it's kind of "work related."

However, I did go and see Better Midler yesterday, and I'll say this:

She is Fucking aWesome.

In fact, she herself used the F-word about 20 times - sometimes as a punctuation mark, sometimes as a verb, and sometimes just to shout it out to the 3,000 screaming fans in attendance.

The entire show was a huge spectacular production: Dancing, singing, and I don't want to give it away, but there was even a full-on, mechanized portion where Bette and a full chorus line of dancers are doing an entire routine in electric wheelchairs. Seriously, even I was impressed.

Though, I'm not sure what I was more entertained by: The Divine Ms. M belting out the best of her hits, or the 6 women sitting in front of me that were going ape-shit the entire time. It was like watching a live-version of the Golden Girls, except it had more drunk dancing, alcohol schluging and at one point, one of them waiving their cellphone as if it was a lighter.

But hey, I'm just glad she sang "Wind Beneath My Wings" and of course, "The Rose", which brought me to an uncontrollable fit of laughter because of this rendition of it:







All that aside, she is a consumate entertainer, and can still give Britney Spears a run for her money... ;)

The 60th PrimeTime Emmy Awards: The Douchebag Chronicles Strike Again!...

Ah, Awards Season.

I can truly admit that going to the Emmy's is my grandest indulgence as a Hollywood douchebag. Granted, it's been about two years since the last time I went in person, but man, some things never change. Like Mario Lopez. The guy still looks like he spends his free time in cryogenic freeze when he's not out and about. No human looks THAT well preserved. Okay, maybe George Hamilton.

The last time I wrote this sort of entry, someone cried "bullshit". I don't usually take it personally, but I figure that I'm just gonna set the record straight. I have no reason to lie about this, 'cause this is just all a part of who I am. Don't worry, I'll pick up the names I drop.


First things first - here's the proof:

Tickets for the awards ceremony and the Governor's Ball
right afterward.

Oh yeah, please excuse the pics -- I had to take them on a cameraphone because it's hard to sneak in cameras unless you're with the press.

Taken on the 2nd tier of the Nokia Center, located in Downtown
LA, the new venue for the Emmys; behind the red carpet exit.


Souvenir programs. I kept getting asked where you find these.
"It's right by the GIANT PILE behind you."


The stage, T-minus 1 hour to show. The seats only got
filled in completely10 minutes prior to the beginning.
Cutting it close is ALWAYS in their vocabulary.

During the pre-show, they'd show us the Pre-Show from
E! Entertainment on the giant screens. It was soooo existential.
It's like being at a party where someone reminds you constantly
of how cool the party is.

A crappy pic of Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden
Panettiere presenting an award together.

Steve Martin doing an intro for Laugh-In. Funny as all heck
as usual.

Christina Applegate and Christian Slater.




Ah, Sally Field -- the woman I subconsciously dream about.
For those that are in the know, you know what I'm talking
about. Boniva, anyone?


Don Rickles accepting an award. Even funnier than
Steve Martin, this guy has still got it.


Matthew Weiner and the cast of Mad Men, accepting the
award for Best Drama. This show is definitely a force
to be reckoned with.


The blurry after-image of everyone bum-rushing out of
the theater ALL AT THE SAME FREAK'N TIME. This
is where the cattle metaphors all come into play.
Organized chaos, most outrageously.


Inside the Governor's Ball, the only crappy picture I took
of it. In the middle of the room, a spinning Emmy rotates
slowly, making everyone feel like a winner, I suppose.


The menu included Avocado seafood salad, a surf/turf
main course of beef and shrimp, and a chocolate desert
to die for.





And yes, here's me in the audience, behind the orchestera,
stage right.


And one more shot for posterity.

All and all, not too shabby a night.

Last personal thoughts on the evening:

**Christina Hendricks from Mad Men, in real life, really does look curvy and sexy as f--k.

**BJ Novak from The Office looked a little upset that they lost for Best Comedy. Hey man, there's always next year.

**I'm sure Glenn Close is a nice person, but even she can't be bothered by taking pictures with her fans. I'm just saying, a little fan-love goes a long way...

**Michael C. Hall from Dexter is pretty darn tall in person.

**Larry David goes to the bathroom. A lot.

And that's all I'm gonna drop for the evening. If anyone has any more doubts, I'll do a YouTube confessional... ;)

My Brush With The Dark Knight...

A few months ago, I had gone to China on vacation in Yunnan (see archives for the pics if you want to check that out), and after the tour we also made a stop in Hong Kong. Guess who was in town at the same time as me?

I couldn't have planned it better. Here's a pic from the local
news: Mr. Shawshank Redemption and Mr. Memento
in the flesh.

They were in town for a few days, so I thought - what the heck? Shouldn't pass this up!

Most of the interiors and night shoots were in a part of Hong Kong called Lan Kwai Fong, a tourist area filled with ex-pat bars, dance clubs and a portion of the business district. A real "Word Hard, Play Hard" kind of area.

Here was the name the production was under during
the shoot.

From what I can piece together, this was the hotel
that the stuntman jumps from in the movie. Interiors for
the crimeboss capture were also shot here as well, but
don't quote me on that.

Here's me with the other onlookers trying to get a glimpse
at the production. Since this night was mostly for interiors,
the only person we got to see was Nolan.

This was taken minutes before director Chris Nolan
stepped out of the black Mercedes. I still regret not
having a telescopic lense that night to get the shot.
By the time I recognized him, he was already inside the
lobby.

The white van carried a bunch of the crew that was
working on set.

Security was pretty tight-lipped, considering that they were
trying to keep this thing a secret in one of the biggest little cities
in the world. The crowd was roudy, but polite -- which is
not typical of Hong Kongers at all...

I don't know if it's in the movie or not, but the news said
that Morgan Freeman also shot a dialogue scene here,
on the longest escalator in the world. Eh, I guess they
figured that if they made it this far, might as well
feature this thing too.

NOTE: This escaltor was also featured in the film
Chunking Express by Wong Kar Wai. It's used in the plot,
and I won't give it away here.

And just like that, after a few days, they were gone.
I still didn't get to see Bale or Freeman, but hey, it was all
fun.

The Dark Knight opens nationwide tomorrow.

Okay Warners, I've plugged the film. Where's my money?... ;)

Need Something To Do For 5 Minutes?...

It's another Wednesday, and boy am I beat! Unmentionables is getting ready to do another show, which means that new sketches are on their way, which means that I will be BUSY!!!!

But hey, anything to help the worthy cause of universal laughter. Yeah, I can hear my pocketbook cringing at my pro bono fulfillment...

This week:

"Are You A Racist"









And "Rudy Ruiz"









And if you can stop by, here's the postcard for this months live shows:

And Now, For Your Wednesday Viewing Pleausure...

It's Wednesday ya'll! Time to get your laugh on, brought to you by Unmentionables!

First up, "This Week In Jersey":









And "What-If: Reservoir Dogs":

Have You Had Your Laughter Today?...

... 'Cause apparently, laughter is great for the heart, and I care about my fellow viewers and readers! So here it is, this week's sketches from Unmentionables!

Their website info plays at the "credits" at the end of each sketch. Check them out of you wanna know more. And besides, the more popular they get, the better the chance I can make a living at this!

Enjoy!

The first one is "Baby I'm A Big Star Now":







And the second is "MC of MC's":

Come on, you know you wanna...

... LAUGH! It's Wednesday, and it's time for a little humor with a side of funny, so without further ado, I give you Unmentionables!

Hillary's First 100 Days:








Emergency Response:









And finally, Candy Man:

More Funny Than You Can Shake a Stick At!...

Hey ya'll, so...

With all my skull and bones-like secrecy, I bet you think I was planning something big, right?

Well, I've been up to my usual shenanigans, and as the editor for the Unmentionables - they'll be keeping me busy editing their hilarious sketches for weeks to come.

Releases will be happening every Wednesday, and I'll be posting them up here as well.

Check them out -- they could very well be the cure for the common day... ;)

Here's a link to their website, and of course, you can always check them out on my MySpace page as well.

Here's "What-If: Pulp Fiction"











And this is "Final Frontier"

Have a Laugh This Saturday Night...

As part of my ongoing mission to keep my life less ordinary, I've been working with the comedy troupe Unmentionables and have been their editor and YouTube guy for almost a month.

So, if you're in the LA area and have nothing better to do, why not catch them live?

Here's the promo for this Saturday night's show. The address and info are at the end of the clip, but in case you don't have time to stop and pause it, here you go:

Saturday, February 9th @ 8PM!
The Next Stage Theatre
1523 N La Brea Ave
LA, CA 90028
$10 At The Door
Valentine's Day Raffle
Drinks Available
Bring A Date!!!



And here's a sketch from one of their earlier shows, which is sure to take you back to your childhood, or someone's childhood, anyway:



Supa at ya'll... ;)

Ann Curry Has A Thing For Bacon...

Now, I'm not one to gossip, but I caught this on the Today Show yesterday, and I just couldn't mash the record button on my DVR fast enough.

Now, it's pretty subtle, but my conspiracy sense tells me that Ann Curry does have a little crush on the one and only... Kevin Bacon.

Why would I say that? Well, for starters, the segment starts with Roker and Kotb out in the Rockefeller Center, doing their meet and greet with Kevin, and in comes Ann, rushing in like she's make a 60 yrd touchdown.

Okay, the previous segment Ann Curry was in was inside the studio doing a quick interview -- so she would have had to rush through 2 soundstages, an assistant, several PAs, the entire morning crew, and finally, the lobby security just to make the it to the segment. Now if that ain't chasing a crush, I don't know what is.

Well, if you still don't believe me, check it out for yourself and click the vid below. I'm telling you, Ann Curry was just glowing, and you could hear it in her voice too... ;)

What Really Gets The Audience Worked Up At The Movies...

I caught "I Am Legend" last night, and as the third film version from the original story, it wasn't half bad. But I'm pretty biased -- if Will Smith made a movie about him just eating a sandwich, I'd probably see it.

Anyhow, as most thrillers go, you'll hear the audience gasp in shock and awe during the movie, but do you know what everyone was most shocked about?

Was it the mutated-zombie-vampire people? The desolate, barren landscape of a New York City turned literally into a concrete jungle? Or Will Smith's hunting deer with an M-4 assault rifle?

No, none of the above. It was when he was at a gas station getting gas and, well, I think the lady behind me said it best:

Oh My God -- Gas is 6.95 a gallon!!!! Oh MY!!!! NO WAY!!!

It kind of stole the show for a moment, and I guess it says a lot about our society -- we'd rather be turned into flesh-eating mutants than have to pay high gas pricess.

Yikes, indeed... ;)

Check it out for yourself (pause the YouTube at 1:13):

My TV P.O.V.'s: We Hardly Knew Ya... But Glad We Did

A question was posted at my site last week that asked why some good shows just never seem to take off. In my opinion, Firefly was one of those shows, and Mr. Whedon, I'd like to apologize for not catching on sooner. You were onto something, and I was too proud to give it a chance when it came around the first time. I won't make that mistake again.

Let me start from the beginning...

About two years ago, I'd heard that they were going to make "Serenity", the big screen adaptation to the canceled show Firefly, along with the original cast and a story that both welcomed the fans from the show and newcomers like me.

When the film came out, I was curious to see it because of all the hype I'd heard on TV, the Internet, Radio - what was this phenomena with such a devoted cult following? I went into the theater expecting to be entertained. But I didn't expect to come out of it in love with the rag-tag crew, who wanted nothing more than to carve a niche for themselves in the great grand universe.

I was hooked, bad. I went out and got the Firefly box set and watched it from start to finish, sometimes re-watching episodes just to see all the nuance that was injected into the scenes. And the dialogue flipping between English and Mandarin? It was fan-boy fantastic!

I couldn't stop wondering why this show never really caught on. You'd think with hits like Buffy and Angel underneath Whedon's belt, this "Neo-Noir Action-Adventure Space Western" couldn't possibly be that much of a hard sell. But indeed, it was.

Here's what I think happened - again, this is just my opinion:

1. Time Slot. Airing on Friday nights at 8 didn't seem to help it at all. The last successful Sci-Fi serial to air on a Friday night was the X-Files. Even Battlestar Galactica has moved out of Fridays, and it's following is pretty deep.

2. A Plethora of Mixed Genres. Is it Sci-Fi? Is it a Western? Is it Action/Adventure? Is it a Drama? Pulling from many different elements made the show interesting to watch, but to those that prefer a simpler template to frame their state of mind found the mixed genres confusing. One minute its funny, and another it takes on the seriousness of a Shakespearean tragedy. This show was definitely a roller coaster that suit a very niche audience.

3. Airing episodes out of sequence. For instance, episodes made after the Pilot aired BEFORE the Pilot episode, which made jumping into the series a bit difficult. Without a solid foundation of exposition, the audience is left to scramble as to who is who, and what they are doing there. A slow reveal is fine, but when relationships get muddled, that's when you get into trouble.

4. Low advertising support from the Network. Early ads for Firefly seemed minimal, as if there was a lack of support for the fledgling program. Although a fan base was building, it might not have been raising the ratings fast enough - a warning sign that the show might be costing more money than it's worth. Then again, putting up a few ads to let people know what time it's on could have helped.

5. Just plain ahead of it's time. Mixed Genres and Extended-family dramas is now fairly commonplace i.e. Desperate Housewives, Lost, Jericho, etc... At the time, tastes in television skewed toward subject matter that is more grounded in reality than in Sci-Fi Space epics (of course, Battlestar Galactica is proof that you can be ahead and at the right place at the same time).

Although Firefly never completed a season, it continues to live on outside of the television medium - it's already been a film, further comic book series' are planned for it, and a RTS video-game is still in the works.

This all kind of reminds me of a show 40 some years ago that got canceled at its peak - it was a show about explorers venturing into the far reaches of space while exploring the inner depths of humanity along the way. It had a pretty strong following, but just not enough pull to keep it on the air.

That show, was called Star Trek. And look how that concept turned out... ;)

My TV P.O.V.'s: ABC could learn a thing from FOX...

Momentum in serial dramas is crucial, if not only for marketing and advertising concerns, but simply for the fact that people like their shows to play as continuously as possible with very little reruns, except when shows take breaks between the holiday season and for special events.

I was thinking about this recently, concerning the show Lost. Lost demands a great deal from the viewer - commitment, reasoning, perception, and a whole lot of patience when it comes to deciphering clues each week as to the mystery behind what is happening to the people trapped on the island. The fans have spoken, and they really dig the show - they just don't dig getting 3 episodes at a time, followed by 6 reruns.

Fickle as we are, we sometimes forget that creating television takes a lot of hard work, long hours, and tons of creativity that doesn't come easy to the writers who have to come up with this stuff. However, Network programming schedules do influence this flow a bit, and that's why I think ABC could learn a thing about how FOX does their programming.

For instance - 3 years ago, the show 24 was running into the very same problem - it would air about 4 episodes, and then go into repeats for 3 weeks. With a show where each episode represents one hour of the day that's taking place, by the end of the Season, one feels like they've been watching 24 for 2 years! FOX also noticed a decline in viewership because of this, and realized that if they didn't do something soon, this flagship drama was going to set sail very quickly toward "Hiatus Island".

So to keep the energy of the show flowing, FOX rearraged the time slot and the season's start date to January so the show would play CONTINUOUSLY all the way through to May, with zero - count'em, zero - repeats. That means they would air 22 episodes (they've figured out that they can air two-hours back to back to count as one long episode, and this year the Season Premiere actually lasted 4 hours but it counts as only two episodes) that could keep the audience excited about what is happening, and ultimately, make sure that the action and suspense didn't wane as the season progressed.

FOX's strategy worked. New fans were being drawn to the non-stop drama and action and old fans were coming back 'cause they could feel the high stakes again, just like in Season 1. People started caring whether or not Jack Bauer was really going to make it out alive, and how he was gonna save the day.

In ABC's defense, I do believe that they heard the gripes about Lost's constant reruns that were occuring in Season 2. ABC's current fix of airing 6 episodes last fall and the next 16 this Spring - uninterrupted - is a step in the right direction, but will it be enough? Can the show capture back our interests as if time hasn't passed at all? I guess we'll just have to wait and see, if we can really "find" ourselves "Lost" again... ;)

SO -- What do you think? Are there better strategies that the Network execs have missed? Or am I just dreaming when it comes to "Network Scheduling Utopia"?