Thursday, August 30, 2007

Trust Me, Baby...

I want to take along:
A GPS Device
A map of the countryside
A spare compass

But you insist we only need:
Directions scribbled on a cocktail napkin

"Baby, what if we get lost?" I ask.

"Then we'll be lost -- together. Trust me, baby."

"Okay..."

Monday, August 27, 2007

6 Weird Things About Me - All In Senryu!...

I enjoy coffee
stale, if it is poured from a
big, yellow carafe

I like the pain in
my feet because it reminds
me I'm still alive

I once beat a bunch
of Trekkies at Star Trek
Trivial Pursuit - yeah!

I like orange juice
with pulp in the Spring, and no
pulp in the Summer

I prefer to watch
independent films alone --
it's for my "me time"

I once tried to start
a Crowded House tribute band --
but the dream WAS over... ;)

***That's all folks. Thanks to Dan for the tag, and hey, if you've got weirdness to share, go right ahead***

Monday, August 20, 2007

Humidity Cure... (senryu)

Lipton brewed iced tea,
sweet on a hot summer day -
caffeine-me away...

o.g. 2/20/07

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Room with a View...

I recall when you
absolutely had to have
a room with a view
of the white-sands beach
with mango-colored sunsets

But instead, we wasted the
whole time there with
eyes closed, bodies closer,
and letting nature do its
chores without us...

Good times.

Monday, August 13, 2007

It's How He Uses The Web (senryu)...

Dad reads e-mail like
Kasparov plotting chess moves --
But Dad, that one's SPAM!...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Convoluted by the Stove...

Hey Mom. What are you doing sitting at the counter?

I'm waiting for the pot to boil.

Hehe. You know, a watched pot never boils.

What's that?

That expression, a watched pot never boils?

Oh, it's gonna boil.

Well, I know that.

Then what are you talking about?

That expression... you've never heard that?

Heard what?

Well, they say if you watch it, it's supposed to take forev--

Scoot over! Can't you see it's boiling over! Where are my oven mits? You were saying?

Some other time Mom. Some other time... ;)

Monday, August 06, 2007

It's Official: I'm Denser Than Mercury...

I stopped by the supermarket on the way to work this morning - and no, I wasn't slowed down in the checkout line this time - and as the female store clerk put my items into my plastic bags, she asked the strangest thing.

"Will you be needing any help carrying these items to your car today?" she asked.

Okay, I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself. This question wouldn't normally be considered strange, but here's what I was buying:

-a bag of salad
-one rotisserie chicken

Yep, that's it. Pretty much less than 3 lbs.

"Um, yeah, I think I can manage," I reply.

"Well, you never know," she says, before walking over to another checkout line.

I walk out of the store, and then realize what happened -- she was flirting with me.

Dear God, what is wrong with my head?

In math terms, it'd look like:
Cute girl + nonsensical statement = SHE WAS INTERESTED!

Have I looked down the barrel of rejection for so long that I can't see an opening when it appears right before me?

I am seriously beside myself. I am denser than Mercury. Heck, I am denser than Dark Matter.
I need a CAT scan STAT!

If ya'll excuse me, I've got "Get a CLUE Idiot!" exercises to work on... ;)

Friday, August 03, 2007

Scratch'n (aintu)...

You are
the itch I scratch
but still eludes me, you
have planted your flag in my head --
as much as it pains me,
I will do your
bidding...